Karen Degnan Foiles, 3 april 2013
Sometimes the line bewteen steps are crossed
Right now the line is dark and unapproachable
But to get past it you can only rise above...
About being a Step-Parent
Karen Degnan Foiles, 3 april 2013
The day he released me was a gift to find you
It was something that was long overdue
I don’t even wonder if the one I love is you
I feel so happy because I know my feelings are true
Knowing how I feel now and how I felt then
I can tell the difference between true love
And “trying” to hang on to a love of pretend
I have never been more sure of anything
I felt trapped in my feelings
I was too scared to speak up and say
You’re not good for me, so please go away
My stubborn pride was in the way
Because I was not about to fail again
To have my family look at me and say
And it’s happening all over again
She’s she cheated and done it again
Just another screwed up decision by a woman
Who won’t let anyone help with their supervision
So I stuck it out, knowing in my heart it was wrong
So I changed for that, knowing I had to be strong
The love I feel for you is so honest
No shame, doubt or feeling embarrassed
I allowed myself to open my heart to you
Because I knew from the start that I loved you
Written 2007 before I knew better... :-(
Karen Degnan Foiles, 31 march 2013
What a week
What a streak
Please don't say a peep
Let me enjoy my cup of tea
Freaky, frazzled
Weakly, Hassled
What I wouldn't give
For Mondays to be cancelled
Harried, Wary
Hurried, Buried
Time is blustering by
I'm always saying "Bye"
Heckle, Jekyll
Lies, Spy's
What the heck happened
Oh well at least the week
is unravelled
Karen Degnan Foiles, 31 march 2013
Just me popping in
Seeing how ya been
Popping by is my style
Just where do I begin…
I wanted you to know
That I have missed you so
I'm sorry I have neglected
My true friend I have respected
My life is a whirlwind
In this spectrum called life
And is anything but sublime
Some days are like a roller-coaster
There are highs and lows
Some are fun and some scary
I know why I'm scared to call
It'll stir up old memories
That I'm not ready to deal or feel
I miss you my friend
I miss your laughter and your tears
I miss our friendship over the years
Not a day goes by
That I don't think of you
And I promise I will call you
This was written for a very good friend I have lost touch with.
5/1/06
Karen Degnan Foiles, 31 march 2013
There's kinds of loss that can bum you out
The loss of a game
You lost your way
Losing your favorite pin
This can make you pout
But without a doubt
It is not a real big thing
The kind of loss that can make you shout
The loss of your job
The loss your car
When you could not pay
It left you confused
Feeling slightly defused
But then you can re-group
Then there a loss, that cuts deep within
My maternal rights that I tried not to win
So stupid to give up such a gift
To watch my boys grow, live with the man
that I've tried so much to get away
No school papers to hang on my frig
No more practices to run to at night
Now I that I am a part-time Mom
And try and do it all on my weekends
This was written about a very tough time in my life. My boys are older now but the feelings are still there.
= 03/20/2006 =
Karen Degnan Foiles, 31 march 2013
What's done is done
You can't go back and change it
It's time to move on
You can't rearrange it
You've paid your price
And it's time to proceed
No matter what your vice
Unsteady as it seems
You'll rise above anything
Try and rebuild your self-esteem
You feel like you're grasping
At a big ball of string
One string at a time
One day at a time
You're growing into
A better person in time
Karen Degnan Foiles, 31 march 2013
My feelings are so torn apart
I want to do what's in my heart
I want to support him in his troubled times
To help him while he's in his prime
To help point him in the right direction
And yet give him a mother's affection
He's so child-like in so many ways
Knows not of the worldly ways
He lives for the day in a careless way
He'll let his pride get in the way
The decisions he has made
Has filled him with self-conviction
They put him in a dark place
Where he feels alone and misplaced
His heart is truly beautiful
He has a smile from ear to ear
His actions are so innocent
He means no harm or fear
He knows what he wants to be
Someone who deserves much greatness
Someone he can be proud to be
But he has some things to address
So I'll stand by, watch him sink or swim
It'll hurt him more if he learns nothing
I'll let him know that I am here
And comfort him when
Things are not what they appear
** A poem I wrote for my son, when he was 18 he went through some very hard times... **
Karen Degnan Foiles, 25 february 2013
Some of us do things the right way
But did not learn or achieve a thing
Some of us do things the wrong way
And just never seem to get away clean
Some of us do it the hard way
A little bruised but still turned out ok
Then there’s the hard way
Always seems to be my path of choosing
Even if it meant I risked losing
My precious time and my precious friends
I should listen, trust my instinct
And not second guess it seems
I’ll be mistaken again, betrayed again
The vicious circle continues once again
And take the hard way again today
Karen Degnan Foiles, 25 february 2013
When I look in the mirror
I think back and see a girl
I realize now, I lost a part of her
Was I a normal girl?
Were you a girl like me?
Why did this happen to me?
How did this happen to me?
Didn't anyone hear or see me?
Didn’t anyone believe me?
I pleaded, cried and begged
And I said "no"
I'm confused, was this love?
Why was she this disgraced?
She did not ask for this
Now she is so displaced…
My feelings crippled and hurt
But I pretend everything’s ok
I go on living in day to day hurt
If I let you in, you would see my sin
You might see the real “Me”
That little girl yelling “Please No”
Sometimes when I look in the mirror
I can almost see that little girl
Before her past had changed her
She used to be happy, and carefree
All she wanted, was to dream
Can I be that happy girl again?
It's hard to let somebody in
When your heart has been exploited
It's hard to let someone go
When your pride has been destroyed
How can I do this all on my own?
How can I let you see my heart?
All I can do is try and do my part
Please, do try not to hurt me
Will "you" take care of me?
Or would you even care to see?
Why can't I make things clear?
The noise in my ears is deafening
Yet no one else can hear me
Sometimes I get so confused
Is this why I do what I do
When I hurt my loved ones so
I can't explain it
But I can understand it
At least it's best to know
Karen Degnan Foiles, 25 february 2013
Let me grow into my own
You’re holding me back
But don’t leave me alone
I want my life on track
So don’t hold me back
I want to walk on my own
Cut my puppet strings
The ones that you reined
Your reaction is overblown
Let me spread my wings
And let me find out on my own
How life is going to play along
I am much bolder than you at my age
I have a mind but with less rage
I have a dream that needs to succeed
You’ve brainwashed me too long
I’ve walked your straight narrow
But now it’s time for me to fly
Don’t tell me I can drive
And then take away the keys
Don’t tell me this is my home
And then treat me like a disease
Don’t tell me we’re gonna do something
And then not follow through
You‘ll tell me it’s for the best
As long as it’s convenient for you
Let me grow up, let me be me
Let me do it on my own
It’s time for me to break away
A poem for my son when he was living with his dad when he was 18 and is ready to be on his own.
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