Jenna, 15 february 2012
Motionless;
submerged under water
Fought so hard,
your words made it harder
Lungs filled with
fluid, a painful goodbye
Yet, to survive
never means you’re alive
So drag me to the
sandy shoreline
Take a look for
the final time
When I’m ripped
open soon you’ll see
How much my
internal truly did bleed
Taking my heart
into your hands
You see the
wounds, you understand
Although
repressed, they still lay there
A hidden barrier,
its walls are bare
Placed on a road;
lonely indeed
It drowned me of
life, too broken to heed
The words of the
wise, the words that are spoken
The words that
were said to repair the broken
You shut my eyes;
I call out your name
Am I dead, or
certified insane?
I feel so unreal,
but my heart is still pumping
No man can see it,
but I’m surviving off something
May I just fall;
erase all my past?
Seeing my future,
I’ll finally grasp
The meaning of
life, the meaning of existence
The reasoning for
running all of this distance
Wanting that which
I shouldn’t have
Dying from pain
that I never would grab
The lies that
you’ve spoken; the lies I believe
The truth that no one
told me; I feel so naive
So here I lay,
unknown dead or alive
So hard to
breathe, no one by my side
When did I get
here, when may I go?
This hell they
call life; the journey I’ll forgo
Please pull me to
shore; pump life to my heart
Squeeze water from
my lungs, let them restart
Maybe I’m phantom
or maybe I’m alive
I’m all alone and
not breathing, but somehow I’ll survive
Jenna, 14 february 2012
Don’t judge that, which you don’t understand
It just might devote unto you; be placed in your command
Don’t look down upon those who appear weak
For behind closed doors they practice influential ways to
speak
Don’t bury lies you refuse to contemplate
They will be brought to the surface, will soon
legislate
Clothe yourself in chastity, clothe yourself in light
No room for the darkness that interrogates the night
Don’t underestimate the power in the humble
Nor the strength to be the change; the help to those who
stumble
For these will be the ageless, the ones on your behalf
will speak
Make the stubborn the willing; bring the nation to its
feet
A hand to the broken, the bread to the dying
The soft words to stop anger, perverse talk and end lying
So see the good in everything, for the little will grow
up
You never know much can change, when being brave becomes
enough
Jenna, 14 february 2012
Your eyes; the window to your mysterious soul
They speak to my heart; they dance through the untold
They sparkle when you laugh; flicker when you smile
They leave me feeling breathless; a feeling pronounced so
vital
An overtaking feeling consumes my weakened flesh
I’m falling faster than I’ve ever known; perhaps this was
a test
Your silence says more, than flawless words ever could
You’re feeling a type of high that leaves you sickened;
far from good
His one and only flaw; the one that leaves you lifeless
He’ll never feel the same way; his heart where the games’
mind is
You want to hate him wholly; you want to get revenge
But within his eyes he calls you, brings you back, time
again
Within the most sincere words, comes a glimpse of his smile
The type that knows he’s got you; in a state so sickly
vile
You try to get away, you struggle; it’s no use
Through his eyes he rips your heart, his power does he
misuse
A tear falls from your face; he sees it’s gone too far
Instead of making it right, he shifts his gaze to his
next star
Forever he will hold a piece of your tiny heart
Never to be put together; forever remains apart
Maybe one day he’ll see; maybe he end up alone
You’ll be old and bitter, and he’ll call you on the phone
He’ll say he has your heart, and he wants it to be whole
You’ll tell him that you miss his eyes; the secrets of
the untold
He’ll say he wants you back; that he’ll love you; past
forever
But here you lay alone at night, your heart crying to be
together
Jenna, 8 february 2012
When it’s all disappeared and I’m laying face down
When I’ve become so talented I can do it without a sound
No one suspicious because not a soul knows
How deep this inner pain is, how damn far it goes
More pressing matters arise in your everyday
Not knowing that this sentence could be the last I ever
say
It’s been a year since I started; since that darkened
wicked day
I found a way to cope, a way to banish all my pain
My eyes are filled with tears, not from crying but from
process
I stand here dying slowing maybe it’s time to choose a
coffin
I rap my reddened face with a glossy vibrant bow
Curl my hair up tightly, in hope that no one knows
A band around my waist, bracelets on my wrists
Calling for my name, they beacon; did insist
Yesterday I saw a picture, one that had me silent
I took it of myself; in my eyes something violet
Why am I alone? They ask me everyday
It’s because I’m self inflicting and it’s time for me to
pay
Hold that thought as I leave you; my favorite room does
call
All the mirrors in that room, my face do they recall
You’ve come to feel good again? They whisper in the
silence
Once so sickened by the thought; now I’m not so bias
When I close my eyes, in a second it’s all gone
The secrets left behind on the walls inflicted upon
You’re not a good
example; you have so little faith
It’s saved me at my
weakest point with love I demonstrate
Do you know that you’re
dying? Do you know you’re being dumb?
I tell the voices to
kill themselves as I leave the deadly one
Jenna, 8 february 2012
Over my dead body do you stand over
breathing
A tear runs down your face my flesh forever
sleeping
Over my dead body do you curse into the
silence
Seems I made a pact; a deadly soul alliance
I fell in love with that, which placed me
under its knife
Wasn’t the first time, but the latter took
my life
Over my dead body does the condition taunt
you softly
Trying to inflict you, it speaks to you so
kindly
Over my dead body do you try to understand
Once named so beautiful; death written on
my hands
I wanted you to comprehend my harsh form of
abstinence
But now I'm gone, too little too late; I
never had the chanceOver
Jenna, 8 february 2012
Appearance so different, so reminiscent, so far changed
Lips become more sealed, become more quiet; rearranged
Protecting those below me; accepting higher blame
Mind so undecided, is this truth or are these games?
In the silence, standing still; listening closely and
you’ll hear
Hiding in the darkness, don’t dare to breath; it’s far
too near
Which way is out; which way might I escape this misery?
All doors have no end, damn this sick mystery
Which way is out; where might I be put to sleep?
I can’t take this type of torment; I’m nearly at my peak
Holding on, but their casing me; I’m in a deadly dream
Hold me, hold me; my love has slowly turned on me
Do you hear the screams; the killing of their innocence?
Wanting me next; closing off every entrance
Not I, no, no, no; not I, no, no, no
Chain me in a place, so crazy I will grow
I shall escape; make no memories in this place
Don’t look in my eyes; you’ll see the wisdom in my face
With my last match, I’ve struck this dark with fire
Burning to the ground, my life; my thoughts were dire
Jenna, 31 october 2011
Death is calling me; it whispers my name
Taking what I’ve known, it makes it look insane
I don’t know this person underneath my skin
Don’t understand this type of darkness; it pours out
within
They taught me; they laugh while I struggle
Rape me of my innocence, upon my lips a deadly muzzle
What realm am I in? I’m being pulled out of the natural
Done with such evilness, anything but gradual
My blood drips off your lips, the only aspect of light
It sparkles in my DNA; all else remains out of sight
Scales on my eyes; I see illusion, I see error
Their lives placed in my hands; I remain sole bearer
You see something inside me; it offends you I sense
I try to uplift; you refuse to make amends
You are the King of your kind; the very head master
You’ve made me your target, and I know what you’re after
You’ve come to kill me, can’t deal with my kind
I’ve been created rare; I’ve been chosen and assigned
You can’t steal my calling; I will kill you off first
Unarm me you spirit, be gone and be cursed
©JennaLyn 30/10/11
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