Gert Strydom, 11 december 2015
(after Christina Rossetti)
I gave my love to you,
but to my heart
you did not want to be true
and from my love you did part
and to me for reasons unknown
you viewed my love as childish, told me to wait
you made my enemy your own
and my heart was thrown to the whims of fate.
With my shattered heart to Him I did come
and found some solitude,
from all my wandering a home
and although my heart was marred and crude
His love was selfless
and His power filled my nothingness.
[Reference: “Twice” by Christina Rossetti.]
Gert Strydom, 10 december 2015
I also wanted to see your beautiful fairies
and when you painted one it was a reality to me
but when it got a name
coincidence was a maybe
and that painting was my property
but when you did cut it up and burn it
I was upset, angry and you were impudent and stupid-cocky
and I totally astonished
and no other painting could match that one.
Gert Strydom, 9 december 2015
Maybe you do remember a field of maize
that stretches into the distance
where your father did take you by the hand
and at times did draw his fingers through your hair
where the memories do remain
in the thoughts of a child
from the cares of the world free
with hair blown into strings by the wind
but constantly you do live in a world of glass, steal and concrete
and forgotten are the days in the bright summer sun
but in our garden there is a flower
that looks like corn
where it comes out of the earth
and later does dazzle with amaryllis flowers.
Gert Strydom, 8 december 2015
The red arum lilies that I did bring to you
you pressed into the ground at the garden-flat
as if you wanted to forget me
and when we later did marry and live together
you found those flowers again,
did know of a better place for them
and pulled them one after the other out of the ground
and planted them at the palisades in a row.
Gert Strydom, 7 december 2015
Would my words keep filling you with hope
and would you still stay true to me
although time passes in years
while your humanity feels sold out?
Would I still be able to trust you
and hold you tight
when the vortex of life wants to swallow me
and will we still be able to built a life together
when my career is falling apart
and the thunder of destiny does lash out around me
and I have lost every friend
and stand alone in the entire universe?
Or do you live in a world with hues of grey
while I still proof true to you?
Gert Strydom, 6 december 2015
When the front door does close behind you
and the house awaits me without a sound
when some of the furniture is missing
and does leave open space and no children do laugh
then I will try to forget you
and hear the dogs howling heart broken
but in my heart I will know
that something of our love is still hiding there
and I will keep longing
as if seeing you again
just depends on the next moment
but know that the goodbye
does remain the reality between us
without reconciliation between you and me.
Gert Strydom, 5 december 2015
I
Memories of the past day do flood my mind
and my whole world has changed from what it was before.
I see a movement at the window’s blind,
hear you walk on the wooden floor past the door
but thought struck pass the world rushes on
and the setting sun says that the day is gone.
II
At twilight my study is a peaceful place
and you walk in with a bright smile on your face
and the tranquillity is no longer mine
but outside nature is at rest as if touched by the divine
and inside it’s only you and I
while the first stars do touch a pitch black sky.
Gert Strydom, 16 november 2015
At a time I was to you like a god,
could do nothing wrong in your eyes
and my car was far better than any other
but somehow somewhere something did change
and you did become distant as if I am a stranger,
as if you do not want to know me anymore
but at times you do still look at me,
want me to help you with your problems
and sometimes you do turn up the volume
of your music system to the very limit
and people have to avoid your room
but just when I thought that our relationship was coming to an end
I heard you say to your friends at the swimming pool
that I am the greatest dad in the entire world.
Gert Strydom, 13 november 2015
(after N.P. van Wyk Louw)
Into loneliness
caught between the silences
of four walls
I did hang your paintings.
For a while I was captured
in our past,
but do now realise
that no light shines upon my hope
and do throw the hope, longing,
pain and even the heartache
into the darkness of the night
so that only the moon
and stars are witnesses
of that which at a time had been between us.
[Reference: “Skreeu” (Shout) by N.P. van Wyk Louw.]
Gert Strydom, 12 november 2015
Maybe a new tomorrow is just a wish
where everything will be better
without any pain or fear
and maybe you can get
a prospect
of a place where everything is better
where people live together in happiness and peace
and where there is more than just forgiveness
where people do continually astound you
and love comes to meaning and reality.
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