Patricia Etienne, 30 december 2011
I'm eagerly awaiting this last wish
My eyelids flutter each time, sun light slope on earth
Asking when will that moment be?
To just uncover the repressed feelings
That seem to lessen my joy
But until I see you then for just one last
To explain your empty promises
To respond to all unanswered questions
To put to rest the unfinished business of our time spent
I shall continue to influence by this emotional feeling "leftover"
…Nonetheless
On second thought
I'm no more going to show excessive smiles to conceal my sadness
Crying on my pillow, I'm no more
…Or fantasizing
I'm to release the butterflies
…I'm to
Ache from no past feelings
To free my thoughts of all past ordeals
To paw on the ashes of my past burdens
…Yearning last wish
I'm dashing now
…This heavy energy is now resolved
Awaiting no more
I'm vulture bliss.
© 2011 by _Patricia Etienne
All rights reserved
Patricia Etienne, 28 december 2011
We don't have time'
Time has us
Though I wish
Like
anyone else
To grab a hold of time
Just to mingle and dwell
Yet
the day passes so fast
That it's already tomorrow,
Still we beg and
plead for
Time to borrow
Still surprise on how the sun has gone'
Our shocked and amaze will never be done
Time is a comedian, first
fast then slow
Because on boring days the day will never go
So spend
time wisely if you must,
We don't have time'
Time has us
Patricia Etienne, 26 december 2011
Then:
They bullied me,
Made me feel much smaller than what I really was,
Not knowing How to deal with pain I kept inside.
Woe is me
As I cried in grief
Staring at myself
Laying still
As I wish the minutes would be
But twos not
After:
They made me feel low.
Called me ugly
And stepped on every ounce of confidence I had stored.
Like thieving pirates searching for my sacred treasure,
They found my self-esteem and took from me.
The priest said a prayer and placed me to rest.
My friends and family all shed their tears.
Now:
I did it! I dealt with her.
Her blood falls on my hands,
But a problem she is to me no more.
They teased and bothered both her and me so much
That I came to a point where I killed myself
I have committed suicide.
The greatest act I have ever done.
I killed her low self-esteem,
Her below zero confidence
And her tradition of crying
But I live,
Proud of myself
And of who I am.
No longer obliged
To the comments they make of me
Or the opinions they have.
For I have committed suicide to her.
Note From author:
This piece of writing is dedicated to all of those who have survived
bullies, who have been teased, who have accepted themselves for
who they are, and learned to get rid of their low self esteem.
So Please keep on fighting!
© 2011 by _Patricia Etienne
All rights reserved
Patricia Etienne, 26 december 2011
~~1~~
Down and under
Below black skies
Heavy clouds follow
As though with legs
Clomping the air road
Striving to escape as always try
But…
Down and under
Rain water burns
~~2~~
Down and under
Where light is gloomed
Each step forward
Is found to go backward
Exhale a heavy cry
Who's there to hear
Only…
the voice echoing
The woods to sink down deeper
~~3~~
Down and under
Shoulders shrug down
Sleepy eyes unable to open
Within the four walls
Darkness is glorified
Light becomes the intimate enemy
Only…
Sweet taste commands the stomach walls
Marriage is made with the fluffy blanket
~~4~~
Down and under
Does not rhyme with shine
Snow cascade from skies to heart
Unable to reason or to smile
Tearful eyes relieve pain
Feelings of worthless invade soul
Now…
Suicidal thoughts take over Grim's weapon
Deep feet under makes the last move
Note from Author:
Depression is a serious disease. Allow yourself to see the symptoms and be proactive
© 2011 by _Patricia Etienne
All rights reserved
Patricia Etienne, 26 december 2011
For so I am a woman
All fingers are pointing at me
All eyes are fixating on me
All verdicts are going against me
For what reason ever be
Who has the right?
Who has the right to think that way?
My question is yet to answer
~~``~~
For so I am a woman
It's like a stigma
I am viewed like a rotten apple
A libertine, thinking by many
For what so ever reason
Who has the right?
Who has the right to feel that way?
My question is yet to answer.
~~``~~
Indeed I am a woman
I am perturbed,
Prosecuted,
laughed at,
Damaged,
Minimized,
Pushed aside,
I long carry the world's burdens on my back.
~~``~~
For all I know
I am a woman
From Eve
Pass down the curse
Begins far, so far back
In the ancient epoch
Time of B.C.
When the pleasing to the eyes fruit got bitten
Then sins take nascence
I come to be the conniver
~~``~~
Alright I am a woman
Through childbirth
I hollow
I agonize
I encounter,
Pain beyond the word imagination
I pay my penance
Am I still a conniver?
~~``~~
He the superior of all lawyers
He makes all the laws
And he who has the right
To give all the rights;
Has already given me,
My rights
I am a woman
I am at my own free will.
© 2011 by _Patricia Etienne
All rights reserved
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