Jock Engelman, 19 february 2012
Observing the world, as an average bloke;
All the disrespect, of the fellow folk;
A civilised race, being uncivil;
If only we could all, just coalesce;
No matter your idol, God or Goddess;
Contrary to belief, we are capable;
To move forward, mend bridges of trust;
To mend fences of respect, it's a must;
To love one another, I think it's time;
So now let us turn this world, all around;
Make it celestial, just to astound;
All who don't understand, Heaven On Earth;
Ignorance, may be considered as bliss;
Where's that tranquil world, I dearly miss;
Well that disappeared, with my innocence;
Binded in this messed up world together;
Aid me Dear Brother, Aid me Dear Sister;
I'll aid you to create Heaven On Earth;
Jock Engelman, 16 february 2012
Oh how I love that feeling, deep inside;
Where all I want to do, is go and hide:
Cause disappointment, scolds my soul within;
I learnt to pretend, I dont have a heart;
An act to cease, it being torn apart;
As the emptyness, continues to form;
silver drops fall from my eyes, you dont care;
not from your perch, all of the way up there;
Hunched over my vunerability;
A scarlet drop, lands on bleached white;
Hey there, Mr. Grim, it has been a while;
I didnt see you, shrouded in the mist;
As I hold my last breath, I see my life;
Soar past my vision, sharper than the knife;
amiliar feelinFgs, of pain and pleasure;
This limeric is not suicidal;
But poetic art of my survival;
The everlasting struggle, this is LIFE;
Jock Engelman, 9 february 2012
The floor boards tremble to the rhythmic sound;
Combined with the stamping feet on the ground;
The screeches and growls bounce off the walls;
Completely surrounded, yet alone;
The fruitless ringing of a mobile phone;
The clashing of bodies, fully unheard;
A scene of such beauty, yet such horror;
As coloured lights spin over the walls and floor;
I cant even feel my heart beat its beat;
Vision blinded by red, white, and blue lights;
Unable to tell the day, from the night;
People streaming in from all over town;
Nostrils assaulted by terrible scents;
Mixed with the sights and sounds this world presents;
Engineers this feeling of estacy;
My shouts, shrieks, and screems are masked by the band;
Each tone strummed by the magical hand;
Here I belong, at this metal concert;
Jock Engelman, 9 february 2012
Tears, tears, tears, and many more tears;
As they fall I hope that no one hears;
How vunerable I am inside;
And I curl up into a small ball;
To protect my emotions from all;
So I can be insecurely safe;
Tears, tears, tears, and many more tears;
My heart has become full of new fears;
All I want to be is in your arms;
Where the world can do me no more harm;
But I'm afraid of my twisted mind;
Tears, tears, tears, and many more tears;
My mirror's reflection only leers;
Loathing who I am forced to become;
As I am my own worst enemy;
Silently being judged on harsh terms;
Tears, tears, tears, and many more tears;
Held deep inside for such many long years;
Now feeling positive emotions;
Which I had believed to be long gone;
Feelings I lost with the death of Sean;
Leave me alone, like I feel inside;
Jock Engelman, 1 february 2012
The memories of you
Are engraved within my heart
Nothing in this world
Could ever tear us apart
Because you’re not here
Some think that you’re gone
But I tell them better
Let’s say you just moved on
I try to stay positive
To keep you watching over me
Some think it’s crazy
But I know you’ve got to be
We were pretty close
I hope I can say
You were so pretty
I’ll never forget those days
You were such a fun person
And your personality was great
All the girls loved you
only some you could hate
I know how you were
And how you were so shy
But I wish you told me one thing
I wish you would have said goodbye…
Your future was great
You had so much in store
When I’m forced to think of it
It rots me to the core
I spend most of my time
Thinking of you
And reminiscing of the things
We said we’d do
What I wouldn’t give
To be in your place
I’d give the whole world
Just to see your face
Some say I’m going crazy
Or maybe insane
But they don’t understand
This heartbreaking pain
You were my drug
My source to get high
But I really do wish
You would have said goodbye…
I’ve been thinking of the days
When we used to sit together
I now cherish those moments
I also hope you remember
You’re always in my head
And I can’t get you out
I get so mad at times
That I just want to shout
I feel as if pieces are missing
Like a book with no end
Too late to tell you how I feel
Now and forever, only a friend
My old memories of you
Fly by me fast
And everything I remember of you
Is now in the past
All the sweet thoughts of you
Brings a tear to my eye
I miss you so much
I wish you’d say goodbye…
I hope heavens good to you
And I hope you get your Wings
An maybe when I get there
You can show me all the beautiful things
I really don’t want to say it
But please wait for me
Knowing your up there
I really can’t wait to be
That day when angels came down
Was a sad day of grief
When I first found out
I stood in disbelief
Although you’re gone
You still feel so close
Maybe it’s the thought
Of missing you the most
I wish this was a joke
A foolish student’s lie
But you have no idea
Please…tell me goodbye…
Ill always be here for you,
You will forever be missed…
R.I.P. SEAN JAMERSON 2/12/11
Jock Engelman, 29 january 2012
When I look into your eyes,
the world dissapears.
I forget my worries, problems,
stresses and all my fears.
Your my breath of air,
your my light of day.
When my words cluster up,
you always seem to understand what I say.
You give me reason,
to wake up tommorow and the next.
You so easily make my day,
with so little as a text.
I'm so in love with you.
I will never hurt you.
When I speak to you,
you'll always know it's true.
Well that's if it's a serious subject.
I will never raise a hand to you,
I'll raise a hand to someone else,
for messing with or hurting you.
Your my everything
and in-between.
When I look into your eyes,
it's the greatest sight I have ever seen!
Jock Engelman, 23 january 2012
as I sit here all alone;
I remember to myself;
that it is all my damn fault;
I am the one who screwed up;
I am the one who pushed you away;
now as I cry to myself;
I realise its my fault;
And the tears flow more freely;
how could I do this to us;
This should not have happened now;
If life felt meaningless before;
Imagine what I feel now;
Knowing it is all my fault;
And you just tried to help me;
See I am afraid of life;
All cooped up like a caged bird;
no chance to spread my wings wide;
always being the strong one;
but really just dying inside;
Jock Engelman, 22 january 2012
My eyes filled up with tears as I heard the news
It never occurred to me, how much I could lose
I find myself wishing that it wasn't real
Every time I think about it, pain is all I can feel
Tears fall from my eyes, I can barely see
But my heart tells me that he'll always be with me
I’m glad he feels no pain now-he lives in a perfect land
I can still feel the soft touch on my shoulder of his loving hand
I lie in bed and cry at night
And I don’t feel any better in the morning light
And I will love and miss him forever
Until the day we are again together.
Together in that perfect place above,
Filled with caring, sharing and love
But until that day comes- I will wipe my tears away.
And hopefully see him again someday
Jock Engelman, 8 january 2012
I open my heart;
just for all to stare;
deep inside my soul;
through the gaping hole;
which once was my love;
fragile like a dove;
should I dare wonder;
if it is better;
to die all alone;
like my life has shown;
Fear of rejection;
longing affection;
as inside I die;
life passes me by;
I long for your touch;
I love you too much;
Should I dare wonder;
if it is better;
to just take the chance;
together we dance;
I know it sounds dumb;
whatever may come;
I want to be here;
where I do not fear;
the future to come;
i know it sounds dumb;
should I dare wonder;
if it is better;
for me to leave you;
before I hate you;
Jock Engelman, 7 january 2012
Tears fall like rain
Tears fall like rain from my eyes
Like a rainfall from my eyes
The pain I was caused
You put it all on me
I was destroyed because of you
Now I wish I could go back
To the love I now hate and despise
To the wonder that you took away
To the happiness I will never know again
And to the days I did not cry
The days where all I could be was happy
Those things taken away
As the tears fall like rain from my eyes
Poetry
Prose
Photography
Graphics
Video poems
Postcards
Diary
Books
Handmade
