12 may 2013
Empty apartment
Empty apartment
I awake with tectonic cracks all over my sore body staring at a poker face wall.
The cold chills hold me like how you use to hold me. But the icicles jabbed in my heart is new
I wake up not knowing how to move on. Crazy dreaming and ignoring basic instinct to at least slow down the bleeding.
I'm not succeeding but I'm moving
Moving from you,
so that I can't go thought with the bitter reminder that it wasn't me who left you
It was you.
I put the key back into the lonely door leading into the echo space you left me.
The creeks is missing your footsteps and breaking the harmony
The table for two was divided and only one sits
Silently.
I miss the pointless conversations where you pretended to keep me company because you did.
How your dumb enough to think you meant nothing to me goes way beyond my own beliefs
And how you challenged my love like I don't appreciate it
Do know I was able to look over each imperfection as perfection
Ignored your unpleasantries, see you as the one for me.
No no it's my fault really.
How can anyone believe in love if love doesn't exist for them.
Yeah
If these wall can walk I think they'll walk away with me. Cause of the abandonment. How it was unfair to me.
It'll pick me up and hand me a napkin to clog the gates of sorrow positioned between the lips you use to kiss.
It'll pick up the little memories I had and lunge the bed we once laid. Whisper in the ear you once whispered to me and say the exact words "I love you" and ill believe it again cause I did when you said it to.
Those words were a promise and until the day you slashed it I thought it will never be broken. The anguish that was left from you goes beyond the hurt of hurtful children using hurt to solve the wrongs that were felt towards them.
But you, what was your excuse. I was good was I not?
The endless day soon comes to a end
How the impossible becomes possible. When your not poisoning my mind. I lay back in the bed once shared and stare at the poker face wall.
It cracks a smile
And I, back at the wall
do the same
And the tectonic cracks fill with a rising hope and the sores melt away. And the empty apartment doesn't feel so
Empty