19 february 2012
Written Februrary 17, 2012; Three days After Vaelntine´s Day
(Sometimes you have to suffer
to be with the one you love)
Some nights it becomes so unbearable
on the dark 4 a.m. Malasaña streets
swamped in the cologne of liberation
and sketchy prose, because something
is always missing, something very deep.
The street musicians and drunken small talk
cannot extinguish the thought of you
burning so hot it melts the inside
of my skin.
I plead with myself in the vain hope
you will hear me thousands of miles away,
how I am lost without you
how you are the only thing
that keeps me going
in an otherwise redundant life
going nowhere
in a chaotic cadence.
I try my hardest
to stand perfectly
still
in the fleeting hope
the sun, moon, and stars
will fall from the sky
and the next time
my eyes open
your naked body
will rest
seamlessly
inside my long arms
forever,
and all this pain
will be for naught.
Valentine´s day passed
with a skype conversation
and a metaphor for a kiss
that wasn´t the same
as the real thing.
It´s taken three days
to write down the feelings
lodged on the back
of my tongue, feelings
you already know; for
I´ve said them many times.
Yet, I am compelled
to express them again.
I do not worship you
but I will never put
a god, a leader,
a movement before you.
I will not die for you
but I will never live
at the expense
of your happiness.
-In submission to you
I am a man