Joey, 21 april 2012
In this world, I am alone. All alone.
I may have friends, families. But I am still alone.
There is no one I can talk to.
No one I can open up to.
No one I can truly call friend.
From childhood to now, I am alone.
School, even life, I faced alone.
No one was there.
No one answered my call.
I stayed in the shadow...
slowly consumed by the dark.
I kept everything inside,
and only fake happiness is out.
Are people that naive,
or is it just that I am too good at pretending?
Why can't anyone see my loneliness and sadness inside?
I am afraid...
afraid to show myself to the world.
I don't want to handle the expectations,
the way people look at me,
and the standards.
I really want to escape all that.
Find a place so I am free
Free to do anything,
be anything without disappointments.
No fear of letting someone down.
No fear of people judging you.
No fear of expectations.
I pretend I don't try,
to give myself an excuse for failure.
In this world for me,
failure is not an option.
The pressure that is on me.
Parents think I can handle it.
Friends think it's nothing for me.
Everyone is too busy
To see that I am scared and fragile.
I am scared.
I am left to face this world alone.
No one to help.
No one to keep me company.
No one to share to.
I only have loneliness.
Alone with only my shadows by my side.
I am alone. All alone...
Joey, 24 march 2012
Even in my dreams,
I am haunted by my lost
My lost chance at love
The past that i regret happening
A dream that occurs over and over
Me chasing love
Around and around
But it is always out of reach
My heart burns with agony
As I reached out
Unable to touch her
It pains me
To have love so close
Yet it's out of reach
As hard as i could
I still couldn't breach the barrier
I tried and tried
But as soon as i am near
She just disappear
Every single time
I scream, "NNNOOO!"
As i ran and ran
Tears falling out
I just couldn't bear losing her
At last, I find myself waking up
Full of tears and pain
I curled up again and as I sleep,
The same lost dream comes to haunt me
For the lost of my dream girl
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