Flying Lemming, 11 january 2012
Standing in the queue waiting for the big ride
It feels like there’s a whirlwind going on inside
My stomach start lurching, my heartbeat quickens
The thought of getting on the ride just really sickens
I hear it zooming past and the people screaming loud
I look for other nervous faces waiting in the crowd
I feel like I’m the only one with this grip of fear
And every time the line moves on I feel the cause grow near
Just a few steps left until I am locked in
My mouth becomes quite dry, all the moistures on my skin
I look at every bolt and every join upon the frame
The thought that one could pop makes my heart burst into flame
I take my seat, the restraining bar locks into place
I try to force a brave smile but it wont come to my face
The carriage jerks along and then hits the incline
Higher higher higher clicking creaking all the time
The noise of the theme park is lost down below
As the carriage meets the top and very soon I know
That it will lose its battle against gravities greed
Hitting twists and turns and loops all at great speed
The carriage starts to roll away and oh no here we go
The feeling of the speed and movement makes me feel a glow
I laugh with real enjoyment as I experience each turn
The thrills the spins the spirals that I wanted to spurn
Give me such a buzz that I come off the ride grinning
Wondering why I worried so about the twists and spinning
I march on proud to the next ride brave and full of grit
But as I wait there for my turn I start to think a bit
Standing in the queue waiting for the big ride
It feels like there’s a whirlwind going on inside
Flying Lemming, 11 january 2012
You’ll never do it, not a chance
I can see you’re useless at a glance
You haven’t got the skills you need
The craft, the poise, the will, the speed
You’re all off line, you’re way off aim
You’re not even in the same game
Outclassed again, you’ve lost your fight
Too late, goodbye, so long, good night
Not a hope why even try
Might as well try to paint the sky
But you wont listen, cheese for brain
So I will watch you fail again
-
You did like I said you would
I always knew you really could
I know what really got you through
Was my unshakable belief in you
Flying Lemming, 11 january 2012
I stand outside all night cos you wont put me away
My silver body work is a grim kind of grey
You drive me miles and miles every single day
It’s not much fun being your car
You rev too much, burning oil every mile
Keeping on going really is a trial
All I ask is a service once in a while
It’s not much fun being your car
You haven’t cleaned me inside or out for years
When you’re in a hurry you start to grind my gears
If I whine up goes your music so you’re not one who hears
It’s not much fun being your car
You have me roaring down the motorway again
Through the wind and grit and dirt and fumes and rain
Being used so carelessly really is a pain
It’s not much fun being your car
But one day on the road my engine will just die
And you’ll have to wait out in the rain til help comes by
And when the mechanic starts me I will work first try
I can have some fun being your car
Flying Lemming, 3 january 2012
The tourist laughed as he thought of the native that made a deal
And swapped an uncut diamond for a Rolex that wasn’t real
He took the diamond and sold it, gaining a pile of cash
And gambled and went to bars and frittered away his stash
The native smiles and thinks of how he swapped the watch for two goats
That gave his family the chance to live without hunger at their throats
The tourist still chases more money, no time to rest or for calm
The native sits in the shade and watches his children tend the farm
Flying Lemming, 3 january 2012
There it is still taunting me
Out the side of my eye I see
But I can wait patiently
Until the moment is right
The battle has spanned many years
My adversary still appears
Offering its goads and jeers
Spoiling for a fight
I see it there hovering still
Trying hard to break my will
The thought of chase still gives a thrill
So I make my move and strike
And as I lunge it knows my thought
And dashes off to not get caught
The chase becoming my new sport
A game I’ve grown to like
As I keep on in close pursuit
Determination taken root
I hope my hunt will bare some fruit
This time I will not fail
And observing this dramatic slog
The owner gives his partner a jog
And smiles as they both watch their dog
Continue to chase its tail
Flying Lemming, 3 january 2012
Criticism affects us different ways
Some will feel the pain for days
When someone feels the vile need
To do their best to try to impede
Any attempt to make or create
Something, be it minor or great
I find more amusement than hurt
When someone wants to throw the dirt
I look past the front of aggression
And any negative thoughts soon lesson
The thing that you must ask yourself
Just how strong is their mental health
If they need to belittle and chide
Behind a screen so they can hide
You’ll find that those that criticise
Tend to have the emptiest lives
And feel the need to take a dig
To try to make themselves feel big
Don’t feel anger or negativity
Critics just deserve your pity
Flying Lemming, 31 december 2011
ITS ODD THT WTH AL TH MBL PHNS
MR PPL R TLKNG EACH DY
TXT MSSGS BEING SNT THRU TH AIR
VRYBDY HS SO MCH 2 SY
YOUD THNK THT THS MEANS ENGLSH GRWS
WRTTN WRDS R INCREASNGLY SHWN
MR PPL DSCVRNG NW FN WRDS
NSTEAD OF STCKNG 2 THEIR OWN
BT TH SD THNG IS THT WRDS R NT
GRWNG ND FLWNG LKE HNY
NSTEAD THY R CHPPD UP MKNG THM LOOK
HRSH ND UGLY ND FNNY
S IF U R SNDNG A MSSGE
I ASK U 2 PLEAS DO THS TRCK
SPLL EVRY WRD AS IT SHD BE SPLT
ND MK OUR WRLD SEEM LSS THCK
Translation:
Its odd that with all the mobile phones
More people are talking each day
Text messages being sent through the air
Everybody has so much to say
You’d think that this means English grows
Written words are increasingly shown
More people discovering new fun words
Instead of sticking to their own
But the sad thing is that words are not
Growing and flowing like honey
Instead they are chopped up making them look
Harsh and ugly and funny
So if you are sending a message
I ask you to please do this trick
Spell every word as it should be spelt
And make our world seem less thick
Flying Lemming, 31 december 2011
Now we really must think outside the box
Bring it to the table, not move the goalpost
I hear what you're saying, we’ve already touched base
At the end of the day that’s what matters most
Are we singing from the same hymn sheet
Is the circle of our knowledge base fine
Some blue sky thinking to push the envelope
Will get all of our ducks in a line
Bottom line is the ballpark figure right
Will going forward keep the client group merry
If we start by picking the low hanging fruit
Will that give us another bite of the cherry
Think glass half full and address the issue
Take it to the next level living the dream
‘U’ and ‘I’ are both in the solution
But it’s true there’s no ‘I’ in team
At this moment in time it’s no win-win situation
The fact of the matter it’s mission critical
This is real octopus of a problem
We can face it if we each grab a tentacle
Flying Lemming, 31 december 2011
January is too soon here
A damp and cold start to the year
February follows on
With snow and ice that’s seldom gone
March appears next in line
And down comes rain all the time
April showers now are due
Lasting the whole month through
May and showers still persist
Bringing frost and fog and mist
June gets hot, insanely so
Everyone’s red and aglow
July bring chills mixed with hot
You’re never sure just what you’ve got
August the sun is up and bold
But the wind still keeps it cold
September the drizzle and ice is back
Keeping up a relentless attack
October’s colder so I hide
With a hot drink and stay inside
November sees your breath in the air
And colds and sneezes everywhere
December’s cold but brings some cheer
Then bloody January’s here
Flying Lemming, 25 december 2011
Now Christmas card writing I have Begun
So I get my pen and start card number one:
‘Merry Christmas to all that you hold dear
And the warmest of wishes for the new year
I hope that you and your life are well
And you’ll have a healthy and wealthy spell
Best wishes to you and your family
Kindest regards as ever, from me’
The envelope licked and the card sealed inside
By card number five I‘ve lessoned my stride:
‘I hope that you and your life is well
And you’ll have a health and wealthy spell
Best wishes to you and your family
Kindest regards as ever, from me’
I carry on more at a fairly strong rate
But the lines become less by card number eight:
‘Best wishes to you and your family
Kindest regards as ever, from me’
By now I am feeling less than keen
So when it comes to number fifteen
When they open it up all they will see
Is: ‘Happy Christmas, from me’
Many cards later I have a bad cramp
Think next year I’ll just get a stamp
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