Poetry

There’s someone there behind my eyes
Who I have grown to despise
He’s with me wherever I go
When I say yes, he says no

At school when the bullies shoved
He told me it was weak to blub
When the teachers held me back
He begged for me to just attack

When growing up he burned in me
Each time I suffered more cruelty
The men who’d keep me in my place
The women who just laughed in my face

He’d mutter ‘you must make them pay’
For treating you this awful way’
But I would keep him buried deep
Although the strain would make me weep

At work, like school, I was kept down
I was the joke, the office clown
The bullies were still haunting me
But now had power and money

I’d never fit, I had no chance
I had no fun, no slight romance
A humiliation every day
The man inside would burn away

Telling me he’d take no more
Of retributions kept in store
And how they’d curse the slaps and jibes
And settle debts with all their lives

When I get pushed he growls so low
When angry he wants it to show
When I'm polite he snipes and sneers
He’s got much louder in recent years

There is someone behind my eyes
And now inside my hand
And now he’s picking up that gun
I hope you’ll understand