Nightrayne, 20 may 2014
I find myself staring at you,
the man I used to know,
the man that knew me;
My every hope,
my dreams,
every hidden secret that was me.
You, the one I loved
the one that claimed to love me.
Disconcerting I stand
perplexed by the notion
that I'm staring into a strangers eyes,
naked and exposed-
unarmed by the trust I placed in you.
Nightrayne, 8 april 2014
I tell myself I’m over you -
yet find myself thinking of you,
far more often than I should.
Yet it doesn’t hurt like it use too -
now only a phantom pain lingering
after a long ago cut off limb.
Does that mean I've come to accept?
Does that mean I've pass through
all the dreaded stages of grief?
I can see I've tried to beg,
I've tried to bargain.
I've been consumed with rage,
sometimes I still am...
I’ve cried my heart out,
I've shouting to the stars in a desperate plight...
I felt the hopelessness set in
as the realization near drowned me;
I will never find comfort in your arms again
Nightrayne, 19 november 2013
I'm far from perfect,
closer to broken inside,
not the angel you see
when you look into my eyes.
I've wished you didn't love me,
'cause I know I'll never deserve you.
You're so much better than I'll ever be.
I've wished I could walk away
set you free,
but I'm selfish inside,
I could never let you go.
I'll hold on to you
till my fingers bleed
and I drown in my own tears.
I'll hold on to you
till the day you look past the love in my eyes
to see the devil inside.
I'll hold on to you,
and live each day
to become the angel you see,
when you look into my eyes.
Nightrayne, 29 may 2013
Strip me down and lay me bare.
Touch me – my body is begging to burn with desire.
Take your time and devour me slowly.
Kindle the flames of lust,
fuel them, let them lick and burn each corner of my being.
Explore me and taste me
let your fingers run wild.
Be selfish and be daring
make me yours,
take me to heights I've never known.
Then leave me wanting more.
Nightrayne, 25 april 2013
If I told you that I love you
would you stick around to reply?
Would you run for the hills?
Would you leave me high and dry?
Cause I swear, I didn't mean to -
I even tried not to.
But honestly,
I think I should blame you.
Because if it hadn't been for you -
your kind and caring eyes
your subtle touch
and your stolen kiss one moonlit night,
maybe then, I would have stood a chance.
But as it is, if it hadn't been for you and all you are
you wouldn't have woken the sleeping corners of my heart
and maybe then, I wouldn't have failed
when trying not to love you.
Nightrayne, 22 april 2013
I can't keep up.
One moment we're falling in love
the next we're falling apart.
We're up
we're down
I'm losing my mind...
I see you now
the stranger you've become-
What happened, love?
Where did you go, the sweet little boy I used to know?
The one that stole my heart
long before I knew the price to pay.
Do you remember the pact we'd made?
I gave you my heart
and you gave me yours.
You promised we'd be OK
as long as we stayed close.
I'd always be yours
you'd always be mine
But somewhere along the way
as the years passed us by
I guess we fell apart...
The sweet little boy
that I had known
that stole my heart with a kiss and a rose
Oh so many years ago...
Where did you go, my love?
Nightrayne, 8 april 2013
my emotions a wreaking ball
ripping me apart
shredding me from the inside out
sending me spiraling
freedom has no price...
yet, it seems I've sold mine
a pact with the devil - a moment of weakness
trapped in a cage I cannot escaped
my heart is wearing thin
you hold the key
so I'm begging...please...
set me free
please, I'm begging
down on my knees
you've taken all I have to give
i'm begging please
just set me free
i have nothing left
you've stripped me bare
so I'm begging please
set me free
Nightrayne, 12 september 2012
At the edge of life
when time has run out
a black abyss will wait.
Void of "life"
and void of me-
time will stop.
The “me” that hadn't been;
born to life, that lived-
will cease to be.
And all will be for me,
as it had been
before my life had come to be.
Nightrayne, 10 september 2012
I have tried to deny it
I've swore to myself it isn't true.
But I can feel it,
burning deep inside me,
like a festering wound.
I don't need you.
You're not the reason that I breath.
But you are the reason for the ache inside me.
You are the pain I can't share.
You are the loneliness and longing before I go to bed.
You are the hole inside my heart that can't be filled.
But you are not the smile that brightens up my day
You are not the touch that sets me free.
You are not the kind and caring eyes
I've come to love
You are not my safety.
You are not my strength.
You're just the one I love,
and love is only a feeling
like anger and hate
one day it will fade
and all I'll have left
is this hole that you left.
Nightrayne, 22 february 2012
In the dead of night
my defenses start to fall.
My minds craving becomes demanding.
Sleep.
Though I pray for the oblivious black to take me,
I know, my minds only salvation,
is the moments of dreams,
when my mind is to tired to fight
the ever waiting sleep.
Dreams; my minds own drug.
A high of the times that's been,
a world of what-ifs,
paths that could have been,
roads of what should have been.
A world now lost.
In the dead of night
my defenses start to fall.
I tumble over the edge
and find myself lying next to you.
I can feel your warmth behind me.
I can feel your body mold around mine.
I can feel the safety of your arms around me.
I cuddle closer,our love, a soft cloud around me.
God knows, this is where I belong.
You are the beating of my heart,
you are the breath that fills my lungs.
You are my everything.
Longing to be closer,
I roll around to take you in my arms...
A jagged knife through my heart,
when my arm falls into the cold emptiness
of where my mind has made you out to be.
"Just another dream" - another peek at insanity.
As the piercing screams of my agony fills my ears
raw sobs start to rip from my body.
The overwhelming pain of what I lost
becoming to much to bear.
Just to much to bear...
In the dead of night
my defenses start to fall,
as insanities alluring smile
becomes more and more tempting.
Insanity - everlasting dream
of a world that's lost to me.
In the dead of night
my defenses fall to the ground
as insanity takes hold of me
and my mind keeps crying,
"Why is my heart still beating,
when you have stopped breathing?"
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