tessiegirl, 14 january 2012
A dream of hidden death she awakens to, to live her dreams alive
The dreams of dying stench-rich souls, a day to day of writhe
Confined, her trembling heart seeks truth, essence of these signs
Sought help to be knocked again down, her heart and head combined
A sparkling wink, her metal friend escorted the troubled mind awry
And in a smile of pain, she bled and waned her cold poignant bye
tessiegirl, 14 january 2012
I can’t see straight, reality’s a mess
My hearing is fading, my life’s but a test
There’s no good left inside me, I feel all alone
So I sit there in numbness and try to condone
These feelings I feel, these thoughts that I have
That knife on my desk, so easy to grab
I don’t want to live now, but I don’t want to die
I lay in my nothingness and console with my cries
tessiegirl, 14 january 2012
I sit near the back, head on the window, wanting to know what it’d be like
To be killed on someone else’s part, in these conditions, on this road tonight
The saddening thoughts excite me, giving me something to plan or foresee
I imagine every detail, each motorist fault, the fatality and debris
But I don’t want it to be instant; I’d hate not to know I was dying
I picture myself pulverised on the road, blood everywhere and I’m moaning and crying
The physical pain involved in my death will enlighten me; it’ll let me know I was alive
And then the eternal stillness to rest my soul, the whole meaning of life would arrive
I sit near the back, look into the window and see the smirk on my face so bright
And realise the longing threat is real, to be killed on this road tonight
tessiegirl, 15 december 2011
I feel like I am soaring, like an eagle in the sky
Everything’s going so great; I’m stuck on a permanent high
Everything which once had me down, so far down past return
Has disappeared into the darkness, locked up in an earn
I feel I’m on top of the world, screaming as loud as I can
Then someone comes and tackles me and I’m back to where I began
The deadly symptoms of fear, weighting down my every thought
Pushing me off that pier, re-fighting the fights I’ve fought
The tough battle of life continues, to burden my every move
Toward the light I go to exasperate or to improve
Encountering many conflicts as I trespass the forbidden zones
I want my life back again, but the path to take is unknown
I must push through this barrier, this small but great brick wall
To find my way back to the top, to be in control of all
tessiegirl, 15 december 2011
quitting feels so easy as I raise the lips
the kisses on my arms, they tickle and trickle
The warming and cooling sensation sets my smile
strength slips away like a painful orgasm
wait to feel the climax
the torturing world slows around me
Every think, every blink recorded forever
I surrender, my eye down the barrell
as I farewell my family with a recording
tessiegirl, 15 december 2011
with a glimmer of hope left in my soul I walked
No hint of satisfaction in my smile
each step remained effortless and my journey seemed to have no end
a magic wand waved overhead whispering wonders
your presence; silent, invisible, overjoyed us
without words you spoke to me, you completed me
no sooner you were here, you are gone
leaving me to walk soulless once again
I mourn, forever I mourn
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