Carlos, 27 may 2012
And so, with a strike of a key and a swing of the eyes, the storm was freed from its cage.
I have felt its bone-chilling breath on my neck,
and I experienced the torment of it's acid rain on my brittle skin,
yet the despicable mindset of Sir Fuzi Fazi is exponentially more catastrophic.
(He has allowed me to be burdened by the agile precision of the storm's sting,
he has embedded me with a demon's jealousy and has imprisoned me in the chamber of self-despair, yet he remains in flawless perfection.
His angelic aura shines through the dimmest, most obscure of caves,
and his radiant eyes evanescence gray clouds in the sky.
His impatient smile gives life to the day,
and his immaculate walk makes way to the heavens, yet I remain in anonymity, even to myself.)
And so the rain fell, and the thunder roared with the strength of a giant.
And I fell silent to the claws of fear, and succumbed, in eternal slumber, to the perpetual monotonic dullness of nothingness.
Carlos, 27 may 2012
I dare to blame you for my death,
For it was your eyes that overlooked me from between the shadows and have focused on the decorations of an altar,
For it was your ears that missed the layers of my troubled voice and have concentrated on a stranger's sugary whisper,
For it was your embrace that lost its meaning and has wandered off into warmer arms,
For it was your words that gained simplicity and hesitation and have been lost in the pit of your stomach,
For it was the love that enlightened me with a million colors and dissipated the terrors that paralyzed me, that was lost in its course from your breast.
I have managed to retain myself from considering my own being as guilty of my end, even when it was I that locked my heart in stillness,
For it was you who directed your eyes in hatred and lowered my will to the serpent's nest,
For it was you who heard my plead from between the boiling waves of misery and discarded its echo,
For it was your fingers that had sealed themselves onto my throat when, in a moment of desperation, my pride engulfed me and my poisonous tongue betrayed me,
For it was your teeth that chattered the language of my doom as my knees faltered and my frame scraped along the moist, crimson tiles,
For it was you who has robbed me of the desire of a plain existence.
Yet, I could never banish you to the exterior where traitors are sent, and men are beheaded,
For it was you who raised me ever since I was a foolish child.
Carlos, 5 april 2012
I may have adored this one person more than an alcoholic conceives his booze.
If being honest could only be smooth.
Now he has escaped my grasp,
Like leaves fall from their branch,
I've vanished more blankly than this mirage I've never felt,
And I'll be forgotten,
Like footprints on the beachy sand,
Wondering about my ghostly impact on such a person.
If my wishes are only foolish,
Then let me sin and let me craze him,
Until its not normal.
He has engraved himself with no intentions maybe,
And maybe my thoughts are only an invisible burden upon his shoulders,
But he's so significant,
That I feel as if I could withdraw without him,
He may be just a kid,
but this kid,
deteriorates my health with every fantasy.
I desire the feeling of inferiority,
The crush that reality blew on me,
As I realize his immaculateness.
Carlos, 5 april 2012
Fear had rapidly poisoned my veins,
and as soon as we had started running, I prepared myself to fall behind;
I slowed my sprint to a jog in the frigid, bleak rain.
I looked ahead,
and I saw my kindred desperately, from danger escape.
At once, I looked behind,
yet the shadows betrayed no one.
I claimed for my sister in the obscure gloom of the night.
I immediately encountered anxiety in her brown, worried eyes,
and it only took me a fraction of a second,
to have her thoughts thoroughly identified.
She, as well, had diminished her pace.
We had just lost our father, and I knew that the possibility of her losing me,
was more than her fragile, shriveled heart could bear.
Yet, even in the naiveté of my youth,
I could reminisce and fill my heart with content.
I had lived through enough,
definitely not through all imaginable possibilities,
but my sixteen years of entity
were enough.
My feet became poised for whatever malignant presence crawled at our heels,
and I embraced it with might.
Carlos, 1 april 2012
There once was a heart,
Saddened, stormy, and oh so blue!
He said he was missing something vital,
But of what this something was, he had no clue!
The heart was slowly but surely dying.
He searched for the town’s healer so he could get a cure
But the healer had never seen such a disorder, or maybe it was a virus, and so she spoke
“You’re lacking something, and without this…something, your death is assured…”
The healer’s words made the heart oh so very worrysome
And so the heart was sent on a journey to foreing lands.
He searched mountain high, and river deep,
But he just could not find his truest demand.
The heart decided to give up.
“I surrender! ” he said,
“I cannot go looking for something, of which I have never seen, heard, felt, tasted, or smelled.”
Oh, the suffering heart continued to bleed, you might also say he had lost his head.
Poor thing, he wouldn’t eat anymore.
Many had said he just wanted death.
Oh, but let me tell you, nobody saw her coming!
She arrived out of nowhere, from a sudden gusty breath!
She was lost too!
Searching for her curing potion,
People told her about the other dying heart,
She visited him, then there was a huge commotion!
Oh let me tell you, people were grouped up in huge crowds!
Everyone cheering and witnessing such a magical event!
A heart had found a heart!
Never in history had this happened, oh all their content!
The hurricanes in the hearts’ oceans had, just like that, dissapeared
The bleeding had stopped!
Their beatings made such beautiful symphonies, like instruments from Rome itself!
The sickness that held them back, had been so easily dropped and popped!
They were meant for eachother,
Like the stars and the moon.
Oh the only regret they both had,
Was that they hadn't met at all soon.
And so, they lived happily-ever-after,
Like in fairy tales, oh but let me tell you!
This is not made-up,
It’s real, it is what it is, and is nothing but of what is true!
And that, my friends, is the story of the lonely hearts
The hearts were saddened, stormy, and oh so blue!
They didn’t know what they were missing,
But in the end, it was just a heart like the one that beats inside of you! !
Carlos, 1 april 2012
Your eyes may not be water pure,
Your lips may not be rosy red,
And your hands may not be cotton soft,
But you’re still perfectly beautiful to me.
Your words may not delight forest birds,
Your walk may not be model-like,
And your hair may not be dark as night,
But to my eyes you’re everything I need.
Your face may not have been chiseled from stone,
And your skin may be pale as bones,
But you’re still the only being I see.
Your soul may not be peacock bright,
Or have different shades or lights,
But at night, it’s you who I want to hold on tight.
You may not be scientist sharp,
Your way with words may not really flow,
But let me tell you this in case you didn’t know:
I will never let you go.
Carlos, 1 april 2012
There laid my own shining sun on the tan pores of my skin,
and therefore I analyzed what people's behavior may mean towards my behalf.
I examined with detachment, for that could guarantee security in the truth,
the actions of my beloved one, and the surroundings of the situation.
And so I did, with carefulness, and for the first instance, I discovered the cowardliness;
the same one I had been confusing for adolescence shyness.
I am obviously not worth the hazard of honesty towards self,
and was forced to be blended against the monotone visibility of the crowd.
And so my partner, whom I trusted with all my will,
encouraged me to not fight fire with fire,
but instead to mimic the cunning behavior of the rattlesnake,
and lock on my opponent's dreary weakness.
My partner warned that it wouldn't be an easy quest,
it reminded me that I would face "people" peril as I uncovered my opponent's elbow joint,
yet I followed its advice obediently.
And so, I have come to awareness that my mirror, my partner whom I relevantly trusted,
has lied to me, for I have lamely failed to conquest my beloved's heart.
Carlos, 1 april 2012
This lamp is always shining,
It has never abandoned this dusty room.
The room is quite the size, though.
It is thirty kilometers and half a mile with three-quarters of a centimeter long,
And nine feet and thirteen yards with three cups of width.
The lamps shines dimly in the vast blankness.
It's a dark flame that burns atop.
Not a black one,
Just dark...
And hanging upside-right sideways from the wall,
Stands a man with crippled hands.
He's said to have lost all his senses at age two.
But somehow, in someway, he manages to feel the heat from the lamp;
He also sees the reflection of the flame's ember along side the cotton walls.
But I see nothing...
I feel nothing as well...
He points towards my left and horizontal point-of-view;
I am still unable to spot this "lamp".
He grabs my frozen hands, with his crippled one.
The texture feels abnormal,
Even to me.
I follow him,
Unconsciously...
Then he holds my face,
I stare at his blank eyes,
And hold them in place.
The image strikes with the power of a fist,
There's still nothing,
Just the cotton room all around.
I feel him though,
He hasn't left yet,
Not that there's some kind of exiting door anyways...
Maybe I'm the blind one,
Maybe I've lost everything I had that was never in my possession,
Or maybe, just maybe,
I have forgotten to open my eyes...
Carlos, 30 march 2012
The magnitude inside of me
Shakes and trembles.
It stirs up mountains and gravel,
All beginning with the fall of a pebble.
My fiery heat can melt a diamond,
Yet, somehow manageable by you.
The way you hold it,
And sing to it captures the intensity.
The ziz-zag rays penetrate and bury anything in it's way,
They disappear throughout their walk,
Now if only I could see them in any sort of way…
The race hasn't yet begun,
But already, the winds march towards their goal.
The massive stormy waves,
Swing and turn into the ocean bay.
All in all.
This is just the start.
Now magnetic pulls may break apart,
They someday lose their force,
But I’ll continue to attracted while at the same time repelled.
By somebody called yourself.
Carlos, 30 march 2012
Sometimes…
When you are searching
For the path of honesty
Life
Makes you walk
The road
Of betrayals…
Sometimes…
When you are seeking
Truest love
Life
Makes you wear
The sandals
Of hatred…
Sometimes…
When you need
To be yourself
Life
Makes you travel
The train
Of disguises…
Sometimes…
When you long
A bullet
Life
Grants you
What you don’t require
Feathers...
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