Esther Hadassah Sendeza, 19 august 2019
I have fallen in love with myself,
In love with the entirety of everything that speaks me.
It has been one long way to get here,
But every step,
every scar has got me here.
I have fallen in love with myself,
With what I am now and what I aspire to be.
Writing vows to myself on how I promise to treat me,
For better for worse, ‘I do' with my inner being.
In our younger years,
most of us aren't taught fully,
The most important lesson of all in the school of life.
To love ourselves first deeply and unconditionally,
To believe in ourselves before others believe in us,
To fall in love with all that we are and the greatness we could be.
Yes, I have fallen in love with myself today,
And this is just the beginning of a great love,
The kind that survives all odds and inspires,
The one that has meaning and immense depth.
I have fallen in love with taking care of me inside and out,
Investing in the health of my mind, body and soul.
Radiating so much love within that overflows on the outside,
Oh, this kind of love has got me speechless.
It may have taken so long, but I am finally here,
The journey was long but worth every tear.
Everything that makes me ‘me' is precious,
Damn, I have fallen in love with my very core.
Esther Hadassah Sendeza, 19 august 2019
Take the time to regroup.
Cry if you have to,
Focus on mending your soul,
Then start the work.
Rebuild your heart,
Piece by piece at your own pace.
Remember what made it beautiful,
Paint it with radiant colors,
Make it more beautiful than before.
Remember who you were,
Before you fell apart.
Then recreate yourself,
And become much better than before.
Do all this,
Intentionally,
On purpose.
Esther Hadassah Sendeza, 19 august 2019
Stop looking into my eyes,
You'll find nothing there.
Stop trying to let yourself in,
I have locked all my doors.
Stop throwing your heart to me,
Because I won't give you mine.
Stop opening up to me Because i won't let you in.
See I have built walls so high,
That no one can get past.
So, don't give me your heart,
Because darling, I won't give you mine.
Esther Hadassah Sendeza, 19 august 2019
You are your lifeline,
So take care of yourself.
Love yourself,
Fill yourself up,
Cheer yourself on,
Believe in yourself,
Invest in yourself.
Take breaks.
Re-energize.
Let it out.
Heal.
Exercise.
Give yourself pep talks.
Dip yourself in coconut oil.
Give yourself time.
Take a one hour bubble bath.
Take yourself on a date.
Go on a road trip.
Take care of your mind, body and soul,
Because you are your lifeline,
In this crumbling world.
Esther Hadassah Sendeza, 19 august 2019
I will not be lost
Not in the world and it's ways,
Not in the darkness that comes my way,
Not in the depths of my own mind,
Not in the disappointments,
Not in the failures,
Not in the success.
I choose to be grounded,
I choose to rise above,
I choose to pick myself up,
I choose to forgive,
I choose to try again,
I will not cave, I will not break,
I choose love.
See, I choose to still be me,
Whatever the experience.
Even when surrounded by dark waters,
My beautiful colours will still shine.
I will not get lost,
Not in this world,
Not in the next.
Esther Hadassah Sendeza, 29 november 2012
places i go to my mind is blank
revealing a knot so tight on my throat,
all the others stare i stand in might
where do i rate..where is my rank?
i cant decide
i cannot see difference
i dont know the way
to stay or to go
what is this mess
im i going to rest?
too many questions
no answers no confessions...
Esther Hadassah Sendeza, 29 november 2012
Of my heart of stone,
so rejected and lonely,
when i stand alone,
with no one to hold me closely,
i say beware....
Of my lieng tongue,
that spits venom and evil,
of my selfishness and my deviousness so classical,
i say beware.
Of my hatred for others and my love for me,
for my hatred for lovers as i curse repeatedly on one knee,
indeed beware.
But i thought of you as a friend,
i could count on and cherish to the end,
i should have bewared...
Esther Hadassah Sendeza, 29 november 2012
Cant you see im tired,
cant you see im weak?
Cant you see we are making
yet another yesterday,
this love that we are having,
is to be only love not fights,
yes lover you are suppose to be loving,
im tired of those lonely nights.
Lets live today to love and be happy,
lets not mention it tommorow
that it was just another yesterday,
lets fill today with hapiness
and not only sorrow.
I want you to love me hard,
like the sheep love their shepherd,
i want this to be our now,
please say it to my face and vow.
Put yourhand into mine,
so i can feel that rythm and rhyme,
like that sweet tasting vine,
make memories of today as sweet as wine.
Let today be a loving memory of tommorow,
something ours not from another to borrow,
Let us make everyday
a day when love is born,
not another yesterday when our hearts are torn.
Esther Hadassah Sendeza, 29 november 2012
Trace my thoughts,
trace my pain,
all i did, all in vain.
I let you in because i thought you were different,
sweet, loving, trusting, excellent.
But the day you stopped trusting me,
everything changed, not the way it used to be.
I love you, i still do,
i hope you could say you trust and love me too...
so, trace my thoughts,
trace my pain, is the way i love you, all in vain? ?
Esther Hadassah Sendeza, 29 november 2012
She sits on her bed laughing,
the drugs in her system embarking,
the poison inside her searching,
another day gone shes now crying.
An open door, a welcoming smile,
just for a friend she would walk a mile....
Scared and lying alone thinking, tormenting,
seeking peace from her heart within,
but her body lies there lifeless..
birds out her window singing...
all she ever wanted was a touch of spring.
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