Shadowpain, 13 june 2013
Distant cries and weeping
Echoing
through my hollow skull
mind is numbing
barely awake
hard to breathe
i pull you near, the surface
of the abyss of my heart
lost at sea and shipwrecked you wallow through dark waters, that reflect in my eyes.
a stare of corpses
starlight crosses
and breaths entwine that what lives and that what is about to die
you stare into my lifeless...
frozen eye
As my eyeball turns away from into my skull...
I turn away from you.....
Shadowpain, 15 may 2013
Lonely leaf filled with grief
Floating amidst the waters of disbelief
Shed its colours into the deep
a climb that was too steep.
Draped in dread and discontent
my feet bury themselves in melancholic sand.
Our carvings overgrown
Drifted apart
living on our own
The statue reduced to a chunk of stone
the soft vibration of your skin that flakes like snow
and pours like tears over that lovely face of yours
and the eyes
of lush spring and blissful green
that carried me to worlds unseen
appaled at the echoes of cheery whispers and breath
the beating sound in my head that is your heart
now like autumn leaves....driven apart
But my dreams give me flight
My memories keep you so close, so tight
The water is cold
and i'm sleepy
i'll be with you soon....
Shadowpain, 24 september 2012
They once told me that a heartless person is someone who cared too much about something once in his life.....
They once told me love starts with a smile... ignites with a kiss and ends in tears...
They once told me love blinds the eyes and clouds the mind....
Here's my story.. again.
of a reflection so beautiful it could break water...
a thing that cannot be painted or photographed...
because the hands of men cannot capture the shapes and details of her..
A smile that makes every frown vanish...
Teeth as white as snow...
Eyes like lush forest groves....
And hair like copperwires....
She shocked me and one jolt was enough...
How she guided me to the gates on angel wings...
Angelic glory and the trumpets of thousands..
hid the failure that was lurking underneath the surface..
A flash of thunder struck my skull and my eyes opened..;
No trumpets nor gates of gold
just a lake and cold hands...
out she comes..; soaked in mud and water...
A ghostly apparation of once was..
that beautiful girl i tried to portray...
I embrace her between the sludge and the kelp...
And when i open my eyes again...
there's nothing but a body of water...
the dead trunk of a tree that sticks out like the hand of a drowning victim...
and nothing but....
cold hands... and silence...
Shadowpain, 24 september 2012
Je reste sur place
Tu continues …….
J’arrête à toutes choses que tu dis ou fait, je continue à accrocher dans les rêves…
Et tu continues……
J’arrête.. à chaque photo que je vois….
Et tu continues….
Je reste sur place, un oasis stagnant..
Tu fluxes plus de la source à la chute d’eau… et tu emportes beauté où tu vas…
Je reste derrière, soif de rêves de toi…
Je reste derrière, avec riens d’autre que la poussière dans mains….
Et tu continues
Un de ces jours tu disparaîtras…. Un de ces jours tu auras trouvé le bonheur ..
Un de ces jours tu auras oublié moi… Peut – être tu as fait ça….
Et je suis la poussière sur ta pantalon que se détache avec le premier coup de vent…
Si tu sais… combien de temps je reste.. à tout moment je peux jouir de ton visage…
Pendant que ça reste…
Encore quatre mois et ensuite tu départes… disparu…
Que tu fleuris comme la rose qui tu as toujours été….
Et la seule chose que j’ai encore.. est ta facebook… les souvenirs de ton visage… les cassettes de ta voix dans ma tête…
Encore quatre mois…. Et tu es disparu… cultivé a un professeur brillant….
Et puis viennent les larmes…
Tous vas si vite… pour toi.. pendant que je suis encore toujours au début
Jamais parlée deux phrases…et quand tellement enchanté….
Arrêter sur chaque seconde, chaque respiration… chaque détail….
Et un jour tu as fané…
Et je reste sur place
Parce que je ne veux jamais oublier toi…
M…. ais tu as déjà m’oublié…
Tu continues…
Shadowpain, 11 april 2012
Wings flapping like leather...
Sewn and stitched together.. these abominations take flight..
Fleeing from everything that is mundane... that is human
Failures of human fabrication...
Minds destroyed and twisted..
By the face of war...
Ingestion of chemicals..;
Forcefed stigma and indoctrination.
Free will is useless..
Spin sins together into a long web to catch innocent flies
Leech of their life...
a major parasite...
Broken, heartless and breathless these angels take flight up to the sky... their leathery black wings scorch underneath the rays of a dead sun..
On wax wings of despair....
Falling down like comets back onto the earth...
The stars are bright tonight.. why are they all falling down...
As the good people die... we see heaven fall down upon us...
And when every star dies... we will be covered in darkness...
And the darkness of humanity...
Makes us grow wings of our own....
Shadowpain, 20 february 2012
Your eyes like open windows,
I am the thief who jumps right in..
Steal all your thoughts and memories, keep them close to my chest..
close to my heart...
They said you're gone, but I know you're not.
You're always here, you never left...
I remember your bones, how they used to snap...
how you bled all over the floor....
but you're still here... you never left...
But...
No I am wrong...
your bones never snapped, nor was the blood yours...
It was mine....
A breeze blows the snow from my eyes..
And now I see...
I dreamt of you...
while I jumped off this mountain...
where we picknicked for the first time...
Now I see... thank you for letting me see...
I lie broken and bloodied on the snowy feet of the mountain...
And now my body, and my memories of you...
are collecting dust...
as snow slowy covers the scraps of my body..
but I know, you never left my side....
Shadowpain, 19 february 2012
Nothing.....
After all attempts
It was a waste to begin with....
Hope was buried beneath gallons of filth, fornication and lies....
Was this another sign??
Will it ever stop??
To be so close....
only to find myself on the losing end again...
She came dwindling into my life..
Of all cliches...
this was the worst....
An inevitable end, hidden underneath a cover of a broken smile
eyes that see no future
Lips that speak no truth, but serpent's tales...
Why I ask myself?
Am I cursed?
Did i do something in the past and is this my purgatory?
Is there a way to break the cycle?
Treating her body like a sewer...
Like a virus... spreading her influence amongst the flock...
A beautiful statue... showing cracks and falling apart...
A rose... in winter
I found a place where hope lies bleeding...
Soaring down from the sky with broken wings...
A place where hope is barred and we scratch the surface with fingertips..
Mark the etchings with our blood and our broken nails...
It seemed like yesterday..
When we first met..
to have found you...
like a green leaf in autumn...
A ray of light piercing through a black sky...
a fool's errand
blindly into an open trap
Another mask
a fly in the web
I found this place, where hope lies bleeding...
PLEASE, SOMEONE CALL FOR HELP AND STOP THE BLEEDING.....
It's getting hard to stay awake...
In this harsh and cold world....
I feel like I don't belong here anymore...
My hope... and my happiness..
lay there, bleeding in a corner..
And my bleeding fingers
have
stopped
moving....
Shadowpain, 14 february 2012
Happy Valentine for might I say...
Why frown on such a happy day?
Is the will to live swept away?
Is your heart broken, dull and gray?
No matter dear lad, just keep a smile on your face..
Forget about that special someone
that one you used to chase...
Happy Valentine
Broken hearted and weeping brides...
I wish you all the joy in the world
and may your dreams come true..
May you catch that special girl or boy that haunts your dreams..
Just keep dreaming and block out the screams;..
What amI saying? Today is a day of joy..
Forget all the tears you shed every other day...
Put on a smile and pretend to be pretty...
Buy some flowers to get another rejection to remind you of the pain..
Today you have an excuse to destroy your heart again..
So goout and let it get torn to pieces..
Have fun and joy!!!
Watch others succeed where you failed...
But it's ok
Valentine only lasts.... one day...
You know.. I used to dream of you day and night
I would wake up and feel a teardrop on my left eye,
followed by a sting..
And just by that I knew I dreamt of you..
And you know while we're texting.. I always ask how you feel
and you tell me: Oh i'm doing so great and how about you?
And then I decided not to send
the message I had prepared for you which was:
I miss you...
Forget about me...
Never look at me again...
Ignore me for the rest of my life...
Please pretend I'm not around...
Because when i see you smile at me...
you tear my heart out....
They told me that if you really chase your dreams,
they come true...
Too bad reality is blocking my way....
Shadowpain's personal message:
Jolien... I've written this for you...
please be my Valentine.. just for today..
So that I know how it feels to be loved....
And I can lay my dreams to rest...
Shadowpain, 13 february 2012
Gazing over a coloured night, stars shining like little diamonds..
Me, a chair and a small table, a pack of smokes an ashtray...
Nothing else needed
for a perfect night..
A chance to muster and embrace nocturnal's blanket...
A chance to berelieved.. through a shroud of suffering...
Gazing through a broken mirror.... glue can fix the pieces.. but never heal the cracks..
Playing with the shards of the past can cut you deeply...
As we look to passing days...
Worrying for tomorrow
Fearing for today
Will we embrace the shroud
And fly freely..
Like angels with torn wings, downwards into
rotting earth...
Inside catacombs
As the moon and sun battle over and over... and seasons die and come to life...
This constant feeling, this burden keeps gnawing at me...
Slowly working it's way up my brain...
Slowly streaming poison through my veins..
In vain...
To battle this overmight...
Slowly we come to a point.. where the pain make us forget...
Where loss of blood and convulsion... are a way to let go...
A meaningful mutilation...
A broken body...
To mend a broken mind
A bleeding vein
to mend a bleeding heart
A stomach upset...
To get rid of the feeling that robs men of their apetite..
Each passing day.. cutting the pain away...
Carving meaning into life...
We slowly enter into a stadia where pain becomes a remedy...
Whereall emotional pain ceases to excist
andthere's only the extacy of open veins rejecting their life...
That burning pain... but comforting snooze like feeling...
Like anesthesy
Were vision is covered in haze...
When the brains pounds to the rhythm of your heartbeat...
And when you finally fall asleep in a warm blanket... never to wake again
Truly I dare say.....
Nothing could make this night more perfect...
I have found my remedy....
- Neverending_Nightmare now known as Shadowpain-
Shadowpain, 12 february 2012
The lonely crow
Mid winter douses the vibrant landscape.
All glows and colours faint..
All that had colour now covered in white.. a
cold and painfull paint.
Dormant roots now burrow deeper into soil..
Leaves falling like blankets upon the ground.
A canvas of rotten wood... a layer of frost...
In the middle, a pine tree.. atop a crow
His eyes searching for that which was taken
from him..
Knowing it's of no use, still searching,
desperately searching for a way out.
A sad painting... with no life... no joy.. no
colour.
Dull grey.. dead black..
Cold white..
My portrait of life...
A lonely crow on a pine...
A king ruling over a fallen kingdom...
A kingdom that everybody left behind...
It's gates closed and frozen...
And slowly my feathers are falling..
one by one.. I paint the landscape into
dead black
Poetry
Prose
Photography
Graphics
Video poems
Postcards
Diary
Books
Handmade