steve, 26 march 2020
What can I say.. that hasn't been said...
Of dreams I had.. that now, are all dead,
Love wasn't enough to help you to see...
All that you had.. when you still had me,
And it wasn't enough.. that I've always been here...
As you make up excuses.. to just disappear,
And love wasn't enough.. as you still raised your hand...
While love trickled away... like hourglass sand,
Bruises and blood... heartache and pain...
What you called love... I call insane,
I know that it hurts... I've been hurting for years...
As I try to explain away all the tears,
Now it's too late... there's nothing to save...
There's only goodbye... as I walk away.
steve, 26 march 2020
I think about you all the time.. "much more" than I'd admit...
For you are the addiction... I can't bring myself to quit,
I can't let go these dreams of you.. and I can't walk away...
And just a fragment of a chance.. is enough to make me stay,
You've but to say the words.. for "your wish is my command"...
There's nothing that I wouldn't do.. for you are my last stand,
I only want to love you.. and lay down by your side...
My heart is weary from the tears.. and the years that I have tried,
Is it wrong to want to feel the part.. of you that few will see?
To take you by the hand.. and show what lives inside of me,
I can't make you care at all.. if its something you don't feel...
And to spend the night... if I must fight.. then I don't think I will,
If you can't see what's in my heart... by now if you don't know...
Then break these chains that bind my heart... and I will turn and go.
steve, 26 march 2020
When I ask to spend some time with you, and I get no reply...
I just want to turn and run, so you won't see me cry,
I know that I am not what you want, but I've got what you need...
So give me half a chance with you, don't make me beg and plead,
I'm not asking to be your boyfriend, I'm not asking for your hand...
I just want to spend some time, and try to understand,
To show you something you've not seen, to go where you've not been...
To pick you up when you fall down, so you can start again,
You know what my heart feels for you, is out of my control...
And everything that's good in me, is reaching for your soul,
Darkness is so lonely when you spend your nights alone...
And the echo's of your yesterdays, are the seeds you have sewn,
No one knows the future, where here and then we're gone...
So let me hold your heart to mine, until the morning dawn,
For I have more to offer than I'm given credit for...
And if you'd just surrender, I could show you so much more,
The future hasn't happened yet, and the past is yesterday...
It's "here and now" that matters most, just tell me that you'll stay.
steve, 25 march 2020
I used to dream about you, now those are days gone by...
I learned too well the hard way, how you could make me cry,
I can't explain why I'm drawn to you, because I don't even know...
Maybe in another life, I loved you long ago,
When I'd look into your eyes, it'd take my breath away...
And words did not come easy, for things I wished to say,
I'd gaze upon your beauty, and the world would disappear...
While life goes on around me, it's only you, I'd hear,
I wanted just to love you, the only way I know...
Like a dream the haunts me every night, from a life of long ago,
I thought I knew what love is, but I've never felt such pain...
Tear my heart out of my chest, then do it all again,
I know that you will never care, I know that I'm alone...
I know that you will break my heart because your's is made of stone,
And though the storm is coming, I still want to try...
Because it's easier to say "I love you"... then it is to say "goodbye".
steve, 7 january 2020
Please forgive me Father.. for the man "I am not"...
As the sin in me is stronger.. then the love I never got,
I thought I'd follow my heart.. but it just led me astray...
So far away from you... I've forgotten how to pray,
Forgive me for believing... I could make it on my own...
I never meant to leave you.. or lose my way back home,
Forgive me for my weakness.. that keeps me lost in sin...
Thank you for the love you give.. that brings me back again,
Without you there is nothing.. and hope could never live...
Life would have no meaning.. without the love you give,
Forgive me for the love I feel.. that keeps my heart in chains...
Help me, Father, do your will... there's so much more to gain,
Give me your strength when I am weak.. your love when I have none..
Bring me home to be with you.. the Father and the Son.
steve, 9 november 2019
If you wake up all alone .. and need someone who cares..
If the weight upon you're shoulders .. becomes too much to bear,
If lonely starts to haunt you.. in the middle of the night..
Or you need someone to hold on to.. who'll hold you just as tight,
If you need someone to talk to.. who would never lie to you..
And won't candy-coat the story.. who stands up for the truth,
If you're tired of the rat race.. and need to get away..
Or need to be taken care of .. if only for a day,
You have but to call me.. and you know that I'll be there..
There's nothing that I wouldn't do.. my soul to you I'd bare,
You're the light in the distance.. that overcomes the dark..
You're the fire that's ignited .. whenever there's a spark,
You're my dream when I'm sleeping.. the answer to a prayer...
I'm the one you can call.. when you think that no one cares,
Just remember that I'm out here.. a lifeline in the night..
Wanting to be with you .. until the "morning light".
steve, 6 november 2019
I tried to protect my heart.. to keep it away from you...
To never let you get too close... no matter what you do,
I tried to build a wall.. too high for you to climb.
Something that's so ominous.. you wouldn't waste the time,
I thought I'd make no sound.. so you wouldn't know my voice...
We'd never have to look away.. and say we had no choice,
And I tried to leave no trail.. that you might follow me...
I thought if I'm invisible.. there'd be nothing there to see,
But you did touch my heart.. and you didn't even try...
I thought it was safely hidden.. I didn't know you could fly,
You scaled the walls with precision.. walls that no one could climb..
I thought my heart was well hidden.. but was only a matter of time,
I didn't have to say a word.. you knew me all along...
You broke through every defense I had.. when I thought that I was strong,
You took my heart a prisoneer.. and didn't even know...
And left me in a place... I couldn't dream to go,
I never told you how I felt.. before you went away...
I never told you that I cared.. and I care every day,
Now you're gone and it's too late.. to cross that great divide...
Regrets and tears are all I have.. for never having tried.
steve, 2 november 2019
It's hard to even come around .. and pretend I'm "just some friend"...
When I look into those deep blue eyes... I'm drifting on the wind,
Your beauty leaves me breathless.. when you come into view...
I lose all sense of any thoughts.. as all thoughts turn to you...
I try to be like other friends.. but your other friends aren't gay...
And awkward moments when I'm with you.. reveal what I can't say,
I can barely breathe at all.. when I get too close to you...
So forgive me if I can't stay long.. for I can't hide the truth,
The tears rain down inside of me..and the river's overflow...
It's not a truth I want to share... but I've no place else to go,
I feel I'm hanging by a thread.. and no one has a clue...
As I try to hide what I feel, but all I want is you,
I can hear the echoes of laughter... when my back is turned...
I know whats it's like to be sacrificed... when your set on fire and burned,
But such is the cost when your different... for some people love to hate...
I just wanted the chance to feel love again... as the hourglass sand slips away.
steve, 25 october 2019
I guess I should let go... as you want no part of me...
And never get to know the part.. that I will never see,
The part of you I've longed for.. the part I've never known...
The part that's kept behind closed doors... a fortress made of stone,
I know just where I stand .. you can't help the way you feel...
We can't control what's in our heart.. or expect it to be still,
And though my true desire.. runs deeper than the sea...
Sometimes we have to bury pain.. before we can be free,
And I will not forget you... I wouldn't even try...
Does the moon forget the stars.. as they share the evening sky?
I must take my love and "fly away".. while the winds beneath my wings...
But you will always have my heart.. and I'll always have my dreams.
steve, 24 october 2019
Though all you have for me is hate... I'll always care for you...
Because nothing that you said.. made me feel the way you do,
Am I supposed to walk away.. and never say your name...
Never dream of you again.. and pretend there is no pain,
Tell myself to just let go .. you never cared for me...
And put my broken heart away.. that I wore on my sleeve,
Because my whole world got darker.. when you said goodbye...
And though you wouldn't know it .. I'd think of you and cry,
I don't know what I did.. that would turn your heart to stone...
But when you said goodbye to me .. it hurt right to the bone,
Any thoughts of touching you.. have all dissolved away...
And any dreams I had of us.. will never see the day,
So I try hard to not think about.. the last time I saw you...
I don't want to feel your hate.. much less believe it's true,
You took me by complete surprise .. I had "no words" to say...
And I can't fight the one I love .. I had to walk away,
I thought that we were stronger than any play on words...
I thought that we were friends.. but I guess that's been deferred,
It's not easy letting go .. but you know I can't hold on...
If that's the way you really feel.. you're already gone,
I'll just have to face the dark.. the way I always do...
Shed some tears before I sleep.. and wake up without you.
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