Alex Perez, 20 april 2013
As time goes on… I sit back and watch the world around me move slowly,
Here I am observing my surroundings; occasionally texting a few people that know me.
It’s late in the day and things seem as ordinary as ever,
So here I am sitting down… trying to figure out if I can come up with something clever.
I’m doing a little brain storming and I think I came up with an idea that just popped up as a creative thought,
Now maybe it’ll work… maybe it won’t; but I’m giving it a shot.
I’m putting my mind into it the best way I can,
The next thing to do is to put some action into it; because I already have a plan.
Now I wonder what kind of feedback I will get; but I’m not going to worry,
I’m just going to write it down before I forget… so I guess I should hurry.
I want to start writing because I have a lot going on in my mind,
But once I looked at the page in front of me… I was surprised because I was writing this whole time.
Alex Perez 2013
Alex Perez, 16 april 2013
Ever since I stepped out the pen,
I nose dived back in that reality again.
So it’s easy to see why I relax the mind with paper and pen,
I guess it’s the therapeutic strokes I make on these empty pages as I exhale the stress in the wind.
They say life is a ride and we should try to enjoy it… “but” right now I’m at the point where I just wanna pause it,
I can’t afford to play the game until I remove the skeletons from my closet.
Real recognize real… because I can see a lot of soldiers fight thru the struggle… problem is… no one takes the time to fit the pieces to their own puzzle.
“As for me“… I just wanna make mama proud enough to smile like she did in those days she use to cuddle me,
That’s why I’m revising my life strategies and taking life with more subtlety.
I can’t afford to lose… I can’t afford to cruise… thru life without realizing; I got a shorter fuse.
From the dirt to the mud,
From the drank… to the bud,
Somewhere in between… I almost drowned in the flood.
But I survived; and luckily I can keep moving forward again, and that’s why I thank god for the love of expression… just so I can keep from holding it in.
Alex Perez 2013
Alex Perez, 7 april 2013
Forever!!!! Does that exist?
We search for happiness and recognition and freedom; while holding a Fist.
Single mothers proclaim justice against fathers that don’t bother to stay around long enough to exist…
But what about a man that comes around….
Even if it’s now or later; will a crater be built?
For a man that’s willing to play the part… would you hold the guilt?
Of someone from the past… While YOU BREATHE and Gasp!!!
Don’t hold back… Because their might be a man that you deserve that will come and improve the past.
So look ahead because someone is praying for you, and keep in mind that someone hopes it’ll come true!!!
Alex Perez 2013
Alex Perez, 7 april 2013
Even if it’s been too long for me to sit down and write what it’s like; for me to go thru day and night ,
I sit back and take sight… if it's a fight for me to recognize that it’s up to me to continue to do what is right.
I slipped… I stumbled… I fumbled every time; I crumbled… the dreams-and it seems that I like I should try to rewind; before I try to humble… myself_”myself is the blame”… the name is ME!
But I came to see, what the hell! No more prison cells….That’s lame for me. No more exhales… only inhales; while I try to excel to a new truth… something to reach a new booth, but a new youth… is holding me back…. It’s like new beats and drama is under attack; trying to attack… matter a fact my back is under the bricks; and the slick shit don’t work where I’m tryin to pull lyrics and skits under the shit that holds me back where it’s tryin to pull me under ; and it makes me drown… deep down under and I wonder will it keep me down…. “So deep” If I creep; will I sleep long enough to keep the hunger down?
Because I haven’t ate… And I wonder will it be long enough to levate to new levels; I guess I’m wondering why my plate is empty truth…. But new devils… Is it too much to settle? My flame is too hot for plastic but not enough for metal… but still I rock flame… like gas lit flares that’ll stop the pain!
But will the clouds hold their place long enough to make it rain…. Because I don’t know if I’ll be aroung long enough to make a change! BUT MY TEARS STILL DROP; BUT I STILL WONDER WHY I DON’T FEEL THE SAME.
Alex Perez 2013
Alex Perez, 27 january 2013
I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT, IT'S NOT RIGHT THE WAY LIFE CAN DO YOU SOMETIMES; I TRY TO RELAX AND TAKE A BREATH, AND TELL MYSELF IT'S ALL FOR THE BEST…
NOW IT ALL SEEMS LIKE A DREAM…
… OR MAYBE MORE LIKE A NIGHTMARE; HOW MY LIFE TOOK A TURN FOR THE WORST; NOW I'M CURSED IT SEEMS, CAUSE JUST WHEN IT FINALLY LOOKED LIKE I WAS GETTING SOMEWHERE IN MY LIFE, ON MY PATH THINGS WERE WORKING FOR ME.
NOW IT ALL SEEMS LIKE A DREAM.
I WANT TO FIND IT AGAIN… A PLACE WHERE I CAN FIT IN,
WHERE EVERYONE AROUND ME ISN’T PLOTTING TO DO ME IN… OVER HATRED AND PAIN- ITS INSANE HOW THINGS TURNED OUT THAT WAY OVER GOING THRU SOME AWKWARD THINGS,
FIGHTING DEMONS TO MAINTAIN; SO THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM,
FROM MAKING MONEY AND FULFILLING DREAMS; TO WALKING THE STREET LOST; LOOKING LIKE A FIEND,
NOW IT ALL SEEMS LIKE A DREAM.
I THOUGHT THERE COULD BE A COMPANION FOR ME… REALIZING NOW IT’S ALL ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE, THE PULL, THE DOUBT, IT’S BUILDING ANGER IN ME. I SHOULDV'E CHANGED LONG AGO, WHEN I KNEW THAT MY HOUSE WAS NOT A HOME, INSTEAD OF LETTING GO; I’M GOING TO BUILD AND DO IT 10 FOLD.
FIRST I HAVE TO GET RID OF THE OLD, TIE UP THE LOOSE ENDS, SO I CAN MOVE ON AND BUILD, SO I CAN BELIEVE IN MYSELF, AND BRING MYSELF BACK TO HEALTH AND OBTAIN THE WEALTH, I TELL MYSELF… IT’S NOT AS BAD AS IT SEEMS,
BUT NOW IT ALL SEEMS LIKE A DREAM.
BUT NOW IT’S UP TO ME TO MAKE A DREAM A REALITY.
BECAUSE LIFE FOR ME AIN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE!
“IT JUST SEEMS LIKE A DREAM”.
Alex Perez, 5 january 2013
With love and hate and no fate for my dreams to lead the way I hope for peace of mind and memories of a better time like when I was little cause life is like a riddle that’s to hard for me to understand, I’m reaching out for Gods hand; please catch me… snatch me from out the air cause I’m falling… all the while calling out for you… “God Hear My Voice“.
So deep into a visual fixation of a nightmare… I look unto you; towards the sky, I cry and before I die; please release me from my own demons who tear apart my soul… and torment me… furthermore prevent me from doing right; I lose sight of what I love; I need help from above… “God Hear My Voice”.
My future doesn’t look clear cause I fear for my present-I’m just a peasant who’s alone in the dark with hurt in my heart… so far apart from you… with no clue on how to connect; except through this choice, I speak… “God Hear My Voice”
Your presence still lingers from my head to the tip of my fingers, I write, you read, I speak, you listen but I’m missing the WORD of which that is yours; please open the doors and let me in, take me from this life of sin… “God Hear My Voice”.
Come fix me because I’m broken, yes your word was spoken; out in the open; yet there I was covering my ears and over the years… like spears I was cut deep in my mind… now time has brought me to this… “God Hear My Voice”
I need an angel… Because from this angle; heaven looks so far away; don’t want to stay in this world without you… “Please God Hear My Voice”
I Alex Speak to you lord needing your guidance; I say god, “hear my voice”, but I know first I must hear yours. Speak Lord because there isn’t a time that I’m listening more than I am now. I give you my heart, my mind, my dreams, my pen, my pad. I say Take me lord… take me away.
Until that day… I am here lord.
Waiting, hoping, speaking… “GOD Hear My Voice.”
Alex Perez, 5 january 2013
I spent my entire life acknowledging all the lessons I learned; and all the bridges that I burned,
trying to keep a hold of all the wisdom I earned; but yet it turns out that I’m the one who forgot my own standards that I set for myself as a man,
Somewhere along the way I lost direction and forgotten my plan.
I’m glad that I’m aware; so I can understand what I did,
Because I never thought I’d lose focus and start neglecting my kids.
Hiding behind tears and acting stupid plus I’m steady wasting the years; but yet it appears I have all kinds of people that I can blame,
And now I stopped pointing fingers because I realize that I’m doing the same.
Now I’m going insane… Seems like the devil’s calling my name,
I don’t want to be another one that avoids the issues and try to end the game,
Because I don’t want the word quitter be attached to my name,
So I need to toughen up and try and maintain…
I know when all the drama is over… I’m the only one I can blame.
Alex Perez
Alex Perez, 29 december 2012
All my life… All my fears…
I close my eyes… I shed two tears…
I pray for my life and for my freedom,
I reach towards God, for I know I need him.
My inner child is lost within these streets,
Now as a young man; I deal with too many defeats.
My inner poet is my soul companion,
I pour my heart into these words so this page won't be an empty canyon.
I find my strength, my faith, and my love,
Despite my pain; I know that God's above…
Just watching and waiting to see what I'll do,
He knows the answers; but still; he leaves me this clue.
That he's inside my heart and he's with me in every way,
And I was never alone because he is there every day.
So if there's anyone out there who feels pain too,
Then please don't worry; for God is with you.
To all my family and friends or anyone who may have thought I was through,
Remember this…
… The game isn't over for me… it's merely ROUND TWO.
Alex Perez
Alex Perez, 25 december 2012
I hear a voice within myself; speaking directly through the heart that beats inside me,
It must be the continuous struggle that my bad choices I made that pushes away the pride I see.
The more I look… It's like there's none left inside of me.
I'm no stranger to hard times,
There's no doubt that my linguistics are clever in some of my artistic rhymes,
I keep myself moving along the path of a poet when the sun no longer shines.
I'm beyond being misjudged,
There's no doubt that there's anger inside of my heart; but there's not a single part of me that holds a grudge,
I just try to put some stride in my glide and continue on til I'm no longer face to face with a judge.
I'm tired of putting everything that's so important on hold,
I'm the one with three aces in the hole but I keep saying I fold.
It doesn't make sense for any of my decisions to have similarities to a lifestyle that's past tense,
I walk around calling myself a king while acting like a prince.
My present life seems like an unnecessary contradiction,
But it's that poetic passion that I possess that kills the stress and it's my strongest addiction.
I'm used to not having any encouragement from anyone that hears the pain I speak or write; but I fight to keep inspiring myself,
The world doesn't realize my true potential because they're chasing their own dreams looking for wealth.
I understand… so I remain a student in life just learning as I go; just doing my best,
My only problem was that I let go of my priorities due to the stress,
But who am I kidding… I'm not perfect but I'm doing my best,
And I don't know why I ever worried because I knew it was just a test.
My success will be determined on whether If I'm willing to do what I have to do without breaking my neck,
That's why I thank god I took the time… to get myself in check.
Alex Perez 2011
Alex Perez, 25 december 2012
No fear, no tears… no blood, no glory… no struggle, no story.
So what would the outlook of your life be if you didn't learn from the negative?
Do you think that you'll eventually grasp expression and use it as a sedative?
If you were to put tragic events in your life together in chronological order; could you put a border in the areas where you learned something positive you can use,
Like the don'ts and the do's… How to win; and to keep trying when you lose… I guess that's why you shouldn't refuse… To analyze and understand the things that set fire to your fuse.
That's what I do.
It makes sense to events from past tense into your present time view,
They are there to remind you; that karmas right behind you… Watching, waiting on your every move; just so it can grab you around the neck,
Because bad intentions tend to have that boomerang effect… and when it happens… pain will be there to collect.
That's why you should take things slow; for you learn as you go,
Experience can be the teacher that shows you the things you should know… remember the saying 'You reap what you sow'… Memorize then visualize and the wiser you'll grow.
Let that set inside your head instead of getting mislead,
Because it could save you from a lot of trouble and keep you from mistakenly winding up dead.
Don't be afraid… Just live your life the best way you can; whether you're a woman… Or a man,
Understand things won't always go according to plan.
Life is a struggle… Blood, sweat, and tears; but handle it with no fear.
Remember; blood equals glory,
If your life doesn't have a struggle… Then it doesn't have a story. Alex R. Perez 2012
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