steve, 19 october 2023
No one really gives a dam.. what I feel inside...
They don't know what lonely is.. or just how much I've cried,
I don't care what people say.. when my back is turned...
My whole life I've had to fight.. and every scar I've earned,
I'm never going to have the love.. that other people share...
Love is pain and hard to find... while life is seldom fair,
I need to have someone... I can run to now and then...
And spend a little time with.. who's a little more than friend,
Someone who gets lonely too... someone who is free...
Someone who is not afraid.. to give themselves to me,
If only for an hour.. to chase away the rain...
Where lonely isn't welcome.. as you leave behind the pain,
There's nothing that you have to say.. nothing you must do..
All I ask is to come in.. and I'll take care of you,
And when the sky turns grey again.. and lonely's at the door...
Together we can face the storm, til lonely is "no more"
steve, 19 october 2023
There's so much that I want to say.. but the words I cannot find...
Though day or night it's all the same. your always on my mind,
I knew the road I'd chosen.. wouldn't always be so clear...
With twists and turns and one-way signs.. that finally led me here,
But I never for a moment.. since the day you said "I Do"...
Thought I'd see a sunrise.. or wake up without you,
I am at a loss for words.. as I stumble through the days...
What I used to see so clearly.. has now become a haze,
I try to reckon in my heart.. just where that I went wrong...
And how I let.. slip through my hands.. the love that you had shown,
You made your vows of love to me.. "till death do we part"...
For thirty years.. is just one chance.. too much to ask your heart?
When I made vows of love to you..and you became my wife...
I thought we'd grow.. to be as one.. until the end of life,
Don't let the love we had so long.. just wither on the vine...
Don't break this heart beyond repair.. and say that you'r not mine,
Don't disappear beneath me.. or let us fade away...
To let go after thirty years.. is just too much to pay,
I would climb a mountain.. or swim in the ocean blue...
And if I'm taking my last breath.. my thoughts will be of you,
Don't give up on what we had.. or what we'll have again...
Our love was like a fairy tale.. and can be that way again,
I'm sorry if I let you down.. if you thought I didn't care...
Your my world.. Your my wife.. there's nothing that compares.
Satish Verma, 19 october 2023
Where will you go?
I am not accepting
myself in a windowless
vault.
The luxury of
kinship takes a toll.
Will it make a
difference, if you don't
fill in the missing words
in the message unwritten?
It works to kill
yourself for the sake
of dying light,
before the blood moon rises.
There was nothing
left to say.
steve, 18 october 2023
The wind blows gently through the trees, as I stare up at the moon...
While the leaves all dance in the moonlight, which looks like a big balloon,
I sit here with thoughts of you in my head, stuck in the same lucid dream...
Hoping and praying someday I'll get through, a life that is not what it seems,
It's a heartbreaking tragedy, the one I love is stuck in a preconceived hell...
Effectively closing any doors that I've opened, ensuring my chances to fail,
How do I reach you before it's too late, as the hourglass sand runs out...
How do I show you what we stand to lose, if I can't make you let go of doubt,
Please give me a chance I'll give all that I have, to save us from dying alone...
Let go of the doubt to what lies ahead, we could find what we've never known.
Satish Verma, 17 october 2023
In first particles of universe,
was there a beginning?
0r ending of kiss?
Can I study you
in a small shrine of words
where gestures fail?
Into the grace of
surrender, why the flames want
to leave ashes?
steve, 16 october 2023
I wish things could be different, as my world is "scarlet blue"...
If only it were black & white, as is my love for you,
I wouldn't sit here crying, over things I cannot change...
As cupid hits me yet again, when he knows your out of range,
I'll never lay beside you, on a moonlight summer night...
Never feel your lips on mine, never hold you tight,
I'll never feel your touch, caress any part of me...
And I can't even fathom, what love from you could be,
My whole world is "scarlet blue", when you're not around...
A grain of sand on an endless beach, hoping to be found,
A dream without an ending, no answer to a prayer...
Live this life pretending, that I don't really care.
steve, 16 october 2023
You'll give away to anyone, what I need from you....
I'll beg, I'll cry, I'll plead, but I just can't get through,
My pain and tears of anguish, fall upon deaf ears...
You could end in minutes, what I have felt for years,
Why do you let me suffer, your supposed to be my friend?
You know from where my torment comes, why don't you make it end?
And how is it "not selfish", to leave me here to die...
I've always been there for you, but you won't even try,
Do you have "no love" for me at all, do I need to walk away?
Friendship is a two-way street, but your only going one way,
I'll love you till the day I die, do I have to wait that long?
Before you "finally realize", you couldn't be more wrong.
steve, 16 october 2023
I don't want to say the things, I always say to you...
And I don't want to cry the tears, that I always do,
I don't want to ask again, for something you won't give...
When your here it hurts too much, and that's no way to live,
Goodbye's the only answer, to rid me of the pain...
"Out of sight, out of mind", might just keep me sane,
It's not a choice I choose to make, it's what I have to do...
This broken heart can take no more, of living life askew,
If we'd done this, or I'd done that, if you'd given me a chance...
If you'd learn to let your heart decide, it might of said "just dance",
I'd like to think I'm more, to you than just a friend,
But you won't let me get that close, and I cannot pretend,
If you never "take a chance", on understanding something new...
How much have you missed, when it's right in front of you?
Life is taking chances, and learning as we grow...
If you never try another path, how will you ever know?
And though this is goodbye, I leave with you my heart...
It's something that belongs to you, and has from the start.
steve, 16 october 2023
It hurts...that you can walk away... without a second thought...
When all I do.. is think of you.. wanting to or not,
The days are long without you.. as the smile I wear's pretend...
And the black abyss.. that we call night.. seems to have no end,
I can't make you care for me.. but I can't just walk away..
Until I hear it.. from your lips.. what you have to say,
This hearts already broken.. from that old familiar pain...
But I'd wait for you forever.. even in the pouring rain,
So look into this heart once more.. beyond what you might see...
Feel the love that's there for you.. and say "you don't want me",
Tell me whats inside your heart, it's what I need to know...
Tell me that you'll never care, so at last I can let go.
steve, 16 october 2023
Is it ignorance.. or denial.. that just won't let you see...
The reason pain and anger.. still dwells inside of me,
All the nights you left me.. to sit there by the phone...
All the nights I cried aloud.. and waited all alone,
All the pain you put me through..and all the lies you told...
And all I ever wanted.. was to have you there to hold,
Its as though you don't remember.. like.. you don't have a clue...
Of the sacrifaces that were made.. out love I had for you,
You've never done a single thing.. to prove your love to me...
And everything I've done for you.. you pretend you didn't see,
And yet somehow.. I'm to blame.. according to your lies...
Why place blame on anyone.. when its time to cut the ties,
I just wish I hadn't wasted, all those years on you....
But it's my fault for believing, that "fairy tales" come true.
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