21 december 2011
passing perpetual cemeteries en route to the eventual wedding
Like a seasoned
chain smoking
speakeasy sleuth
A mind's eye Sam Spade – I prematurely snuff out my cigarette
pick up my trusty sidekick pen,
pocket traveling notebook and survey the room.
Suspicious sundry of
circumstance and motive
outlining the alcohol enthralled milieu
As I write a pale citrine
beam of clean lemon light
illuminates the paper
thin margins,
empty space uniting each individual word
second hand smoke
upwreath
casual successions rise and dissipate,
rise and dissipate like
dusty noire barroom clockwork
My wandering attention span
scattered
in and out
a myriad of mind numbing conversations
like a hive sick
pollen drunk bee
without flower to land
stuck in the sinuous
sticky-sweet honeycomb
of day to day deja vu
Perdition's cherished tradition
Tip-tip-tipplin' time away
Drinking with a purpose
Drinking to forget
Drinking to converse
in a Sudden hiccup rumbling
feeling the night go from bad to worse
still nursing the effects of tomorrow's week long hang over
Every night--
passing perpetual cemeteries en route to the eventual wedding
Every night another daughter given away
Every night reciting more drunken vows
The groom gives his life away and still retains his suit?
nightly nuptial regurgitation
We're married to the floor
didnt we play this mad machines game already
Havent we sat in these exact broke back
rocking chairs before? --
(A year ago? A month maybe?
Yesterday? Last night?
...Perhaps in some vague
speck of memory (((
...belonging to a distant life. ...?
Who can ever remember --?
...I myself can vaguely recall ...
Staggering off in my moist riverbed shoes
After sinking my feet during a deep session
of drunken stream-side meditation
Off to the bar in search of some special native earthling...
-- someone one earth especially naïve enough to to take me home
yaw ...yaw )
yaw...)
to and fro ...
yawn.....)
yawn ...)
..... )))) yawn further
away my attention
goes
feign formal:::: feign normal
waning conversations...
blanking stares ...
Licking cocktail lips ...
flashing bedpost eyelashes ...
quickly outrunning my own pace ...
Tell me, Are you the wobbling turveying mirror talking in my dreams?
Is this the line for fun house admittance?
Are you young and trusting?
Are you willing and waiting to be broken?
Who's invading the moon at this hour?
Someone should wake and warn Buzz Aldrin!
Oh!
close the night shade – I'm bottomed out !
everyone can see straight through the
burgundy stained porthole of my submerged mouth
Ahoy!
My wine
glass remains stubborn
also hard of hearing
Its tongue wont stop gnawing
and lashing my ear
Ersatz sense of tranquility
artificial mind
alteration
false reassurances offered by
a superfluous flow of
superficial nerve stupor
Transient ghosts of self
dissipating like
so many opaque puffs of smoke
Coming down in need of a fix
the female touch is a drug!
No high like the liberating rush induced by the flesh!
Frustrations of a withdrawn heart
addiction leading my alcohol fueled pursuit
Flipping cards in search of the perfect mental match
Kindred wildness
a fellow turbulent weather lover
an untamed yet to be named sheer black sheep spirit
Someone with a shared reckless
reverence for life
though still reverential enough to enjoy
the intimacy of storm-bound summer nights
I don't care about your designer shoes!
I want a barefooted flower child for my bride!
With an Authentic tan
A true daughter of the sun!
Free flowing honey dirt locks or
hair the color of roasted coffee
sweet warm melt chocolate pools for her eyes
or an iris outshining clear bright azure skies
A smile like a sharp sexy knife
that could very well kill me!
I don't want to be bothered by another bored android!
I refuse to contend with a black berry for your attention!
I want face to face affection!
No viral or cell phone connections!
I won't sit through another mindless sappy spew
of box office radio branded love!
I don't want another girl who sits with her suburban friends
thinking acting talking and dressing
all in the same overpriced fashion
Always looking for some clown to come along
Searching for some beefed up
benefactor to bankroll material habits
See I refuse to be when of your
idols from Mtv!
That's not me! Not Me!
No not me.