Poetry

The first one ditched me and showed me what I was worth
The last one took me in and loved me until she gave birth
To her little angel who deserved more than the dirt
She found in her pocked around the end of April
Her bitterness locked me in my room, kept me at my window sill
Wondering when I will ever be good enough
For this psychotic version of Cruella Deville
Acknowledgement from her was my hearts destination
Negative or positive, it never mattered
I just wanted a mother to tuck me in
And love me as she loved my brothers
 
But instead you threw me down, kicked me around
And told me I’ll be a failure until I’m six feet in the ground
Self-defense was never an option
Daddy was always in the background
Watching, making sure I got what I deserved
When you went too far he would justify it
By shoving my face back in the dirt
Humiliation was never enough you attacked my soul
And let me know I’ll never have any power or control
Of where I’ll end up down the road
But one thing I know for sure is that
I’m never coming home
 
Forgiveness was the true route I took
Bitterness and anger became pointless mind games
And started to lead me in the path you created within me
I will never be the same because of the words you beat me with
I will never be sane because of how you’ve treated me
But its okay, I forgive you
Your actions have scarred me as good as any knife
The bruises you left above almost had me end my own life
And achieve the mission you’ve thought about all yours
But these scars and bruises are not going to
Keep me from living my life how I want to
No matter the struggle or strife
You’re my mom and I will always love you
But the things you’ve done to me
Would make Satan himself get on his knees
And beg Gods forgiveness for the rest of eternity