Renea Carpenter, 24 november 2011
Somebody tell me what’s going on
somebody tell me what happens next.
Because I’m completely lost I’m utterly scared.
I sit here waiting on dawn
Waiting on your text
But you just think of sex
And I’m unprepared
What you think of scares me
I just want you
Not just physically
I want all of you
You wanted to flee
And I knew
You weren’t all there emotionally
And I knew.
But I put myself in your hands
Knowing you’d let me down
But I do it anyway
I’d give everything for you
You’re my man
My very sound
That keeps the bad things astray
I wanted to be that for you too.
But you wouldn’t let me
You pushed me away
You made me think that I wasn’t worth it
You made me hate me
I just couldn’t see
Past the first day
So I threw a fit
And she made me see
That you just weren’t right for me
I see that now
And I’m glad she was there
Because friends are hard to come by
And even harder to keep
She kept me from being down
And she kept things fair
No matter how I tried
She never let me take that leap
I’m happy now
And I know I won’t go back
To the way I was before
So I thank my friend
And I hope I can be there for her like she was to me.
Renea Carpenter, 24 november 2011
Will I ever let it go?
Why can’t I just stop?!
Stop comparing everyone to him!!
Why can’t I just let go??
Why do I hold on to the memories?
Why do I see his face in every guy I meet?
Why can’t I just let go?
This is my breakdown
My way of getting out of my head
My outlet of the world around me
Why can’t I just let go?
I push it out of my mind.
But it just keeps coming back
to torment me at the worst time
Why can’t I just let go?
I loathe him
with every fiber in my being
but when he comes around I cower in fear
why can’t I just let go?
I know I can do it
I just have to push myself to do it
I have to push and push
Until there is nothing left inside
Why can’t I just let go?
Can you help me?
Can you save me from myself?
Can you help me sleep at night?
Can you help me let go?
Renea Carpenter, 24 november 2011
Everything I am
Seems to fade into darkness.
Like nothing around me is real.
As if I stand alone in this fake world.
.Maybe I’m too scared to fall.
Fall for the pain and suffering around me
Maybe it's for the better,
maybe it's for the worst.
Feels like I'm running,
As fast as I can
Like I'm trying to understand
Why I keep trying to make sense of everything
Knowing nothing makes sense.
Knowing everything fades
fades into darkness and despair
fades to black.
Everything I am
fades to black.
Every time I see my face
screaming the secrets I won’t share
I, myself, fade into black
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