Proza

Always running. Running from those dreams that seem too good to be true. Running from those people who're too nice to be good. Running from those places that hold all of those memories. One day I might stop, but not today. Today I need a new picture. A new tree in my backyard. A new flower in my garden. A new friend at my door. Today I just need something new. A new place. A new person. A new town to call home. A new toy for my daughter. A new dad for my son. He won't find us this time. This time we'll run far. This time we'll know better than to trust that
nice man. This time we'll be strong. No more falling in love. No more giving more than you get. No more hatred. No more fear. No more cowering in darkness as the walls come crashing down. We'll move on, find someplace better, someplace far away, some place he'll never look, some place I'd have never run to before. But I'm different now. And I'll run straight on. And I'll love my children better. And I'll move on. And we'll be safe this time. We'll be careful. We'll be smart. We'll be cautious. We'll be a real family.
One day I might go back – teach him a lesson or two, like he tried to teach me. But that day is not today. Today I need strength to pick myself up off the floor, to move forward, to try to forget. To try to forgive. But one day, I will see him again and he will regret what he's done to us, and he will pay for what he's done to us. God will take care of him. God will punish him. God will forgive him, because today I don't have the strength to be the bigger person.

That's what happens when you're beaten down. You lose all your strength. You shrink into yourself and you slowly die inside until all that's left is a bitter shell of who you used to be; and you're forever changed into something entirely new, something even you can't recognize anymore. And that something is all of the love in you. It's all you need. It's all you get. It's all you want. And it's right inside your battered, beaten heart. So pick yourself up off the floor, off the blood-stained rug, off the broken chair. Pick yourself up and throw yourself into something new. A new place. A new tree in a new backyard. A new flower in a new garden. A new friendly face. A new smile. A new neighbor. A new day.