Angel, 26 april 2012
I'm not alright,
I'm broken inside.
I'm slowly dying,
With nowhere to hide.
So many lies,
And so much pain.
I rather be dead,
Than living in the rain.
I remember the time,
Where I would ball my fist.
And slowly drag the knife,
Across my wrist.
I remember the blood,
As it flowed out of me.
But not enough,
For the world to see.
I hid the truth,
From all of my friends.
So they would not see me,
At my end.
Ya I've stopped,
And ya I've been clean.
But my past still haunts me,
In my dreams.
So next time you ask me me if I'm alright,
I'll say no.
Then the truth,
Is what you'll finally know.
Angel, 21 april 2012
I wake up and open my eyes,
Ready to live a day in lies.
I paint the smile upon my face,
And look like everything's in place
I walk around throughout my day,
Already knowing what I'm going to say.
Finally when I get home I can finally be me,
Instead of the "perfect" girl they see.
At home I don't have to be fake,
And I can cry with the cuts I make.
I feel the blood flow out of my skin,
And I think about how my life has been.
I re-live moments I'd rather forget,
And remember some things that I regret.
Then I clean up the mess I made,
And see te scars that will never fade.
Sometimes I feel my life slipping through my hand,
Flowing down like grains of sand.
I see my life as it's torn,
I feel the eyes as they scorn.
I heard the words that are said,
The ones that say they want me dead.
I do not want pain anymore,
I just want someone to save my heart for.
Angel, 21 april 2012
I will stand up, and I will fight,
I will work to show the light.
I just want the world to see,
The girl who is the real me.
I am a girl, who is afraid,
Of everything the world has made.
I'm not as strong as you think I am,
I'm not as clean and pure as a lamb.
I have cut and I have bled,
But still the world has not found me dead.
I have not been able to kill myself,
But I know that I need help.
Every cut ends with a scar,
And never again do I want to go that far.
The love of my life left me in the rain,
And now I'm drowning in the pain.
No longer do I know who my life is for,
I just don't want to be alone anymore...
Angel, 21 april 2012
I will stand up, and I will fight,
I will work to show the light.
I just want the world to see,
The girl who is the real me.
I am a girl, who is afraid,
Of everything the world has made.
I'm not as strong as you think I am,
I'm not as clean and pure as a lamb.
I have cut and I have bled,
But still the world has not found me dead.
I have not been able to kill myself,
But I know that I need help.
Every cut ends with a scar,
And never again do I want to go that far.
The love of my life left me in the rain,
And now I'm drowning in the pain.
No longer do I know who my life is for,
I just don't want to be alone anymore...
Angel, 21 april 2012
You said you loved me,
When you looked into my eyes.
I should have known,
Your words were lies.
Through you,
My heart was opened.
Because of you,
It is now broken.
I want you to know,
Go away.
For with me,
You'll never stay.
I can not stay here,
Anymore.
This is what,
A knife is for.
I'll ball my hand,
Into a fist.
And slide the knife,
Straight through my wrist.
I will sit there,
And let my blood flow.
All of it,
So you will know.
Exacty what,
You did to me.
Now at rest,
In peace i will be.
All alone,
Will i be in death.
Where i can live,
Without regret.
There is no saving me,
No matter how hard you try.
That is why i now,
Choose to say goodbye.
I hope you love your life,
With me now gone.
Cause my ghost will forever haunt you,
Until you're dead on your lawn.
And i'll make you suffer,
Everything I went through.
Just remember that all my pain,
Is meant for you too.
Angel, 11 april 2012
I've been sitting and waiting inside my
shell
Living inside my personal hell
Waiting for something to happen to me
Something to bring out the real me
I'm tired of hiding all of my tears
And tired of running from all of my fears
Finally came that one special night
And never once did I put up a fight
I never thought I'd let him in
But finally I let him win
All we did that night was dance
Truly for me a divine romance
A few were surprised to see me like that
Because at every other dance all I did was chat
Of all the guys I danced with there
He's the only one who seemed to care
Because of him I opened up
Instead of being stuck in a lonely rut
Now my life has left me feeling fine
I really hope this is a sign
Of greater things that are yet to come
Hopefully a boyfriend because hell ya I want one
He is sweet, as sweet as can be
And from now on the real me is the one people will see.
Angel, 11 april 2012
You look at her and think she's okay
But her boyfriend sees her as a girl to play
She walks around with him at school
But he really thinks she isn't cool
She knows her "friends" are completely fake
And they're the reason for the cuts she make
She'd rather live a life of lies
Than be the lonely girl who cries
You want to see her leave them behind
And find a guy who's actually kind
You wish that she would look at you
And see you as someone who'd actually be true
A guy who wouldn't want to see her cry
And give her no reason to always lie
But to her you're another face in the crowd
And a voice that isn't very loud
Maybe someday she'll give you a glance
And maybe even give you a chance
And you'll have that dream again and again
But until it comes true you can't wait 'til then...
Angel, 11 april 2012
Do you see the smile on my face that
beams?
I put it on to hide my dreams
I can't stand it when people judge me
By the "innocent" girl they see
They think I'm an angel well they're wrong
They don't know that all my nights are long
They don't know my hurts and they don't know my pain
They don't know my secrets or that I'm ready to go insane
My life is filled with so much hurt
So it doesn't matter if he was a flirt
I'm so sick and tired of being played
Cause now the edges of my heart are frayed
Just want it all to end
And death is right around the bend
Ii just want someone to be
The guy who actually likes me for me
Who will not care about my past
A relationship that will actually last
I have a certain guy in mind
Who to me is a real find
He's funny and smart
And has a really big heart
He can make me smile when I want to cry
And make me forget that I want to die
He doesn't like to see me sad
So I hope that he will not be mad
If he ever finds out about how I feel
And it's not just physical pain that's real
I wish that we could like each other
But he may have already fallen for another...
Angel, 11 april 2012
My heart is gone I am now dead,
Laying on the floor on the carpet stained red.
You'll find a knife in my balled up fist,
And see the cut I made on my wrist.
You think to yourself, what went wrong?
You truly have no idea what was going on.
You saw a piece of paper with your name across the top,
The shock of what you read inside made your heart stop.
"My darling love don't worry about me,
I'm out of my misery as you can now see.
I know I was your angel pretty and pure,
You said I was perfect how were you sure?
You don't know what I was going through,
Because I chose to hide it from you.
I didn't want you to see your angel in pain,
And I didn't want you to know I was going insane.
You always asked why I wore those bracelets on my arm,
Well it was to hide all my self-inflicted harm.
My life wasn't as perfect as you thought it was,
But please know that you were not the cause.
I know on the outside that I looked fine,
But that was because the pain was only mine.
For the past three years my family's been falling apart,
Crushing me slowly leaving a broken heart.
All the rumors about me being a whore,
They're not true and I don't know what they're for.
I'm sorry that I was never alright,
I've been broken inside while losing this fight.
Finally the battle's lost.
This is how I paid my cost.
Baby I love you don't you ever forget,
All the times with you I'll never regret.
But the earth is no place for me,
I know in death I can finally be free.
You'll find someone better than all the rest,
Only if your mind is put to the test.
You deserve better than me,
A perfect girl to love for eternity.
I'm sorry you had to find out this way,
And I really wish that I could stay.
But this is where I do not belong,
I'm sorry you had to hear my dying song."
He could barely see with the tears in his eyes,
Now seeing the pain she hid with lies.
He thought to himself never again will we dance,
Forever gone is our sweet romance.
There goes my heart, my mind and my soul,
Never again will my life be whole.
She was my one and only one,
Beautiful and shining, bright like the sun.
Why did I not see this before?
Now I feel cold and dead to the core.
Never again will I hold her in my arms,
Doing my best to keep her from harm.
I'm the one, who failed her bad,
I should have seen she was so sad.
My baby girl is dead because of me,
I was so naïve that I couldn't see.
All the pain she inflicted upon herself,
I should have seen her plea for help.
He saw her lifeless body as it lay on the floor,
And slowly but surely he fell against the door.
He couldn't believe what he just read,
Because now his sweet baby girl was dead.
I swear i made this up
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