Kahlia Mazacalletti, 18 grudnia 2012
You talk to me in words but not connected; I don't understand
I have tried so many times to tell you how I feel I am trapped in my own corner
Like a boxer waiting for the bell to sound
It has been too many years of Verbal and not sexual communication
Why must you be so unfeeling to me
I am going now; on a new road, one that will take me on a new journey
I feel fine for the first time in years and I Thank You for that
You tried to court me before I left and that was atrocious.....
Like being a 13 year old again; I know that life has more to offer than
a goodnight kiss and some repertoire in the morning
I am pleased by your lack of caring as it has made the transition easier
I have hid behind my walls too long and waited you out.......
I feel like it is my birthday and I am blowing out my candle
One last time
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 18 grudnia 2012
I have been to heaven and I saw so many things
I saw the bright light of the tunnel and an angel spread his wings
I saw Jesus sit upon His throne and so many other things
I have been to the promised land; and a land of old
Where I saw an Indian Princess and tons and tons of gold
I was dead for nine minutes; the Dr's said it was the meds
Personally I think they think, it was all in my head
I am left with no recourse but to prophesize that Jesus is alive
For I have seen him with my very own two eyes
I am now a better person and I try so hard each day
To make sure I smile at each passerby that might come my way
I hear people say there is NO GOD; it is so sad to me
When you have been where I was, you can really see
That life exists on the other side and that Heaven is a paradise
But do you have to die to realize that GOD is really alive?
And now my speech is over and I hope you understand
I died and went to Heaven and was touched by GOD's hand
I, too am a sinner and will always be, but I have seen Jesus and He has set me free
After dying on life support for 11 days..........2010
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 15 grudnia 2012
Father, where have you gone....from the time I was 3 days old
you abandoned me, saying I was not your child.
Now, I am homeless for a father and need shoes; but have no big ones to fill
I feel at times like I want to know you but why as you never wanted me; never even meeting me on your terms
It is Christmas once again and I still miss you; even though I have never seen your face, people tell me I look like you; is that a part of me that can see you?
I ask GOD why and I get no answer as I believe that HE did not want this to happen to me
YOU leaving me without any good reason or even a bad one
I guess you just don't care and that is what hurts the most
I am listless and lonely for my Mother has gone astray and nobody is my family
I guess it is just GOD and I this year again and that is fine with me
Thank you for making my choices for me; one more year
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 12 grudnia 2012
Out in The Streets, there is no perfect world
So in my solitude, I make my own
I do not believe in the problems that plague my mind
But would rather stay in my fairytale land
The space I seek is a far cry from gunshots, ambulances and hate
But rather music, dances and harpiscords..
I world rather live in my so called made up world in my head
Than take my chances on the streets............
The world is filled with violence, anger and there is a jungle wall
I would like to think that I have solved the problem; in my one bedroom apartment, I am just waiting for it to come in.
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 12 grudnia 2012
I thought I had it figured out
What this life was all about
Then I saw your sweet and endearing smile
I thought I might just stay awhile...
We could rule the world, you see
No bittereness, no hate, we are free
I see your laughter , I see your tears
From relationships of wasted years
We have a bond that is set in stone
For all eternity, we are not alone
Others have tried and we have not been torn
To break our bond and carry on
I saw innocence at its best
I wanted you more than the rest
In the middle of our passion I can somehow see
You and me and ecstacy
So stay with me for some precious time
I just want you to be mine
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 10 grudnia 2012
I did my nails last night; so I could claw my way through life
They are a very pretty color on the outside
I am sure people will remark how nice they look
They are looking at the one applied coat, you see
I will mentally scratch through another day
My mind, being so ahead of itself
I did this beauty treatment all by myself-
My nails were so plain before, no pizazz; my nails are brittle and break easily
But I have not , yet
I remember all the filing I have had to do, to keep things smooth, on the outside........
My nails are so shiny; while other things are Dull.
Getting your nails done gives you a purpose to hang on, I am mentally hung, I was up all night checking my nails and thinking
Maybe, I have had enough of this un-beautiful stuff....
Maybe, I should paint something else-my life
My life could be a different shade than blue
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 21 listopada 2012
People do not understand the position of the weary
Tired and lonely, they tread on
Into the Garden of Earthly Intentions
Cruelty surrounds them-a circle of mockery
A lifetime of behavior;taught by others
Why the torment they ask-were we someone's possesions?
Do we live a life of solitude and and square walls only to find our own demise?
The long road to nowhere, the short walk to Neverville.
A box; living in a self contained unit
Trying to escape their own reality
While everyone looks on
The world goes on around them and mocks their uncertainty
Pokes fun of inadaquacies and jokes at their lives
It is sad in Neverville-no smile, laughs or grins
Only the heartbeat of a lonely soul
Crying out for Mercy one last time.
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 21 listopada 2012
My heart is boken; like like the hearstrings of an unstrung harp
Given to a prodigal child to play
You were my brother, my best friend
To talk to one night and be gone the next
A tradgedy-like a play; even Shakespeare could not have written a sadder ending than yours
Today is your dying day-the day the angels came for you
That you never were to return to me
Are you flying in the in the Blue Sky? Are you soaring in the Heavans? I miss you every day.
Like a piece of of me is missing; the puzzle is incomplete now.
What happened to you, Chaz, in your deep requeim of sleep
You are now in your six foot under home.
Your picture still sits by my bed-as a reminder that you are not forgotten; you are missed.
May GOD Bless You and keep You in His loving care, May the Heavans be your Golden Home.......
You were the best person I ever knew.
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 2 listopada 2012
I have vented my feelings so many times; exaustion is my middle name
Now, I am no longer ready to say a word.
To continue on the Windmill of your game
Now wanting, waiting, no expecting; just knowing
what you will always do next
It has gotten so very repitisious;
Almost like a mime, annoying
You sat yourself up quite awhile ago; without even knowing
There were so many signs
As if you were driving down the Santa Monica freeway
You chose to ignore them all, going 'round yourself time after time
Even tho', times are rough I feel fine
Guess, it has just gotten to the point where I am not denying me anymore
The windmill keeps on moving in my direction,making me feel like sooner or later
This will come to an end
But let us be friends til it is over; let it fizzle out like a sparkle on the 4th of July
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 11 października 2012
You have been to me like an old friend, wating to go on a date
I guess all these years gone by mean nothing.......
Is it me or is it the guilt you feel?
I know I have done nothing wrong, yet I feel worthless
I ask for Mercy from you as I get another sleepless night
I do not love you anymore, just a manic attack
Making me feel those helpless feelings again, those frozen ideas
in my head, wanting you, touching you
Despising you all the while, our sexless love affair
In my mind, I fight daily for my dream , that will never come
You not being with me, it does not exist, but I still think of you
It is so merciless and yet so happy to be rid of you
All those years of mental torture, pain and sorrow, bottled up
Ready to explode like an orgasm at any time.......
You have hurt too much and gone too soon.
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 27 września 2012
I have asked you many times to go with me
To a different place where we can flourish
Today is still not fresh; it longs of old images
I feel haunted and discouraged
I feel six shades of blue
Do you even understand my despair with this situation
Are you clinging to the hope that I will change my mind
Bring back the old me and stay for some more abuse and
Hunger for your touch which is no more
I want to go to tomorrow; where there the clock ticks and time
moves on like a marching band
Tomorrow may never come
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 25 września 2012
You spew your vengence at me; to me
Like a wild asp, winding around the wicked vine
Did I not give you life
And bring breath to your ticker tape world
I see bits and pieces of your father seething out of your mouth.
SO angry; SO foul
You are so sad and you make me your victim
So skilled at making me your mark
I am your craft, your rendition of pain
Wind down the road to nowhere
We all have our secrets, but yours are not sweet, they kill
Like your fathers did; You called me a whore, the ultimate streetwalker, a dollar and a dime
You stab me like a double edged sword
You were a baby once, I touched your cheek to mine
Now I feel the singe, Do you hate me, do you wish me dead
I feel the coldness in your voice
I surmise your intentions
I lie down and surrender
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 22 września 2012
I tried to talk to you today, again
It was like an echo coming 'round and 'round
Why is it so difficult to get through to someone
You are always in the attack mode
Waiting to pounce and pronounce
I live in a world of sequestered silence and lonliness
A world of your treason; but I never turned my back on you til now
It has been 14 years of head games but you rolled the dice on me
Being with another woman broke my heartstrings; as you are not with me
Why must you urge the pain to surface so horrifically
Ane when ask, say a simple sentence to try and quench my need for knowledge
I don't know if you have a heart at all
You glide over things , like water glides over a rock
The pain has become to much to bear, I feel hollow
Longing for an easy out; no way to get in anymore
No trust, a factor that should provide safety
Please let me wander; for my heart can take no more
Alone
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 9 września 2012
Standing at Deaths door, you played the odd's , like playing Russian Roulette.
Fooling everyone, even yourself; All those years gone by
In a swift sound barriar instant
Why do you hurt our children so and make their pain so real?
So oblivious to their needs as you were to mine
You have passed through the circular saw window, leaving your scars on us, never to return again
Not to say hello or goodbye
Your daughter grieves for you in a fairytale dollhouse
Your son, a recluse among his own friends and family
No one knew that day, your plan to carry our your last act of unmercy
Must we continue to suffer
Shall we lie down in fields of clover and pass amongst the rest
We remember you, like a flicker of light
In a flourescent bulb going out one last time
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 6 września 2012
You lived your life as if it were always Christmas Day; your birthday
With your paper mache' mask on
Always making me wonder if you were really my friend
You decorated everything and took advantage when you had no advantage at all
Your pyramid and tomb waiting for you, your eyes like Cleopatra
For your eternal resting place
You fooled us all
How was I to know your tears were not even wet?
The roses blooming in your yard were stagnet like your life
Did you enjoy stringing me along in the clothesline of life?
I cried for, I bled from my heart; my holidays saddened by your exit
My godchildren crying in despair and noone to soothe the pain
Where are we to go; how far must we walk in our worn out shoes?
I will always miss you, you helped me through this blizzard of life
But now, you have taken yours, I am still crying for you after so many years
My best friend committed suicide in November 2002.
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 6 września 2012
The long goodbye; like taking a puff off your last cigarette
Where do all the young lovers go?
Being so lonely after the affairs of the heart end
On the turnstyle of life, round and round
Their heads spinning with the lack of desire
Felt from days gone by
Lustful dreams; broken memories
The lament of love songs still ringing in their ears
Of what was said to each other
It is a sad thing, this forlong love
The break-up of destiny
Lost forever, only to meet in a back alley street some moonlit night
Under a starry sky-why must it be so hurtful, can't I just let it go?
Move along and find another
Or was He the only man of my years?
Please tell me there is good and plenty
Do not tease me or test me; for I am heart broken
And have no love to call my own
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 4 września 2012
He cannot say that he loathed the darkness, it helped him to relish the light......
Though he may have desired a long dreamless slumber
Lies and truth battles in a dance for control
He was in a keen state of his disease
He wrote, erased and re-wrote his own demise
He sought redemtion, even though, half heartedly
In the end he held on to his pain
Clutching it, feeling it, it dictated his short life; 29 years on the spinning ball
He was not of my kind, I felt his heartbeat in time with mine, tho.
Are we not in love with dispair?
I did not know you my cousin, my friend
But I know you, I was almost there once.
Rest in Peace, in the loving hands of GOD
I see you in the prisms of my tears.
Regulamin | Polityka prywatności
Copyright © 2010 truml.com, korzystanie z serwisu oznacza akceptację regulaminu.
Poezja
Proza
Fotografia
Grafika
Wideo wiersz
Pocztówka
Dziennik
Książki
Handmade